I Need To Get Over My Husband. But How?
i've been with my husband for 12 yrs now. we are almost hitting anniversary #8. we also have 2 little boys together. last yr, we separated and a lot of feelings were hurt...mostly mine. he got a new girlfriend, but that didn't last. this past feb, 8 months after the separation, we starting talking as friends again. as the months progressed, we started talking more and more. the issue of getting a new place and us becoming a family again was definitely on the table. even though we were getting along and contemplating getting back together, divorce proceedings were still going on. well, yesterday, i found out this ex of his had a baby last month, and my own husband is being named as one of the possible fathers. needless to say, that's all i had to hear. i am going though with the divorce, even though my husband does not want the divorce. i have already been granted the divorce, if i choose to do it, and a court date has been set for me and me only. problem is, i love this man so much, for some unknown reason. he had put me and the boys through hell and back this past yr. yes, we were separated at the time that this baby was conceived, but i am not the kind of person who wants to be raising her husband's illigitimate child. so if i made up my mind, why can't i stop crying over him? why do i love him so much? and why the hell do i feel myself wanting our life as a family back? i have done nothing but cry and throw up today. i can't take this anymore. i just want to feel like a normal person again. my kids were devistated when their dad left the house. how can i put them though this pain again? we never told them we were getting back together, but they saw us laughing and talking, etc, and i'm sure hope and prayers filled their little hearts. how can i get over him so i can be a good mom again?