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Dread....

well its official, the kids are in bed, uniforms sorted, diarys packed and tommorow the madness of school begins...they are looking forward to seeing their friends, i on the other hand, maybe utterly selfishly want to keep them here with me.....people have been saying for weeks now it will hit you the most when its just you & that house - well geeeeees thanks for the reminder!!! I am booked for a pampering session tommorow, hair,nails,massage but I don't think I am going to go, I have to much other 'practical' stuff to sort, more paperwork,trying to decide what to do for the best...just breathing in and out trying not to fail my babies....I need to sort my tattoo's out too....its driving me mad seeing his name on my wrist everyday..going to get a pretty cover-up, butterflies, stars...pinks,purples...then i suppose i had better go to his grave, i dont even know why other than to tell him how utterly ******* selfish he is/was...i am going to get another tattoo on my shoulderblade too...'you smile, i smile' ....with little smiles & hearts :) .......making little plans you know, hour by hour, day by day...i hope i find the strength to pull me through tommorow...i truly do!
soulsearchingforever soulsearchingforever 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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