My Baby Died

2012 was suppose to be the best year of my life. I got engaged, got pregnant, got married then we lost our baby boy. Nov 9, 2012 - 10 weeks ago I gave birth to a baby boy at 33 weeks - 71/2 months. He was 4p 7oz and passed away 41mins after birth. Causes unknown. The day before I had an ultrasound and the baby was fine, I had a doc appt that day and we thought eveyrthing was fine. He was breech, I had a full delivery and delivered him breech having a episiotomy. I cried for 4 weeks as I started pulling myself together. Didn't work for 2 months, my husband took us to the Dominincan for xmas. My due date was Dec 27. It was a sad holiday season. I came back to work Jan 2, I had a hard time at first and last week seemed better but this week is 3 weeks in to work, I have had a hard week, I can not stop crying! I keep trying to be positive, getting out, doing things w friend and family, joining support groups, working out and doing feel activiites. I am doing the things required contiune helping me work through this even when I do not want to. Will it get better?

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9 Responses Jan 17, 2013

I feel sorry for you. You are not alone in this, i lost my baby boy 33 week too . Now have passed 2 weeks and i still can not believe what happened . I still wake up in the morning thinking that I'm pregnant . And when i'm sober i feel like my heart hurts like something i don't have. I had to go to labor to feel all the pain knowing that my baby died 7 day before. And giving birth was not easy because i gave birth vaginally . Going out from the hospital without nothing in my hands was hard as labor. I will pray that one day i will hear the baby cry when i will have another baby. And my little angel will be always on my heart and mind. Wish you the best. And we have to force ourselves to think positive even i know how hard it is.

I can relate to your story, I had a similar experience. Last year Oct 20th I went into ptl and my son was born at 28 weeks. He too was a breech and only weighed 830g. I was told he would not make it through the night and as it had been the weekend there was only one dr on duty and priority would have to be given to the bigger premmies. My son went to live for 2 days and died on a Monday, 22nd of Oct morning. I have no idea how the first month went by, but it gets better with time. I'm constantly wondering what went wrong with the pregnancy as it had gone pretty well until the suprise death. There are days where it seems impossible to go on, but one simply has to.

I think time will make it easier for you but you wont forget but you will learn how to cope and live with it. I've not had the same experience but I had to cope with the death of an ex partner who I was in love with and this was terribly painfull. What I found was that eventually you think about it not as much ect and you dont feel as crippled with it as time passess.
You will feel what you feel and let yourself experience that.Obviously you bound to be really devastated its one of the worst things that can happen to someone. Can you look to your partner for support or to your Mum? You could also think about counselling etc.
The best thing is to take one day at a time and try and get through the day as best you can. Try to have nice things to look forward to and be kind to yourself.Kind Regards.

I am so saddened by reading your story as we have posted back and forth from my post. My heart aches for you! I knew that Isaiah wasnt doing well a month before he passed but I tried everything i could to get him extra nutrition thinking it was that. So i was slightly prepared that things may not end the way I thought that the outcome should be...

However, there are a few things that bring me comfort when I have those days that getting out of bed and talking appear to be far fetched: Your beautiful baby boy will know no pain, no heartache and will not see such a hatred world. He is in the presence of God. He is enjoying every moment in a beautiful peaceful place and you also have the amazing opportunity to know what a mothers love day you will see how the pieces fit

If you have time, you tube Already There by casting melts my heart! I dont know your beliefs or religion but just knowing that God has our lives already planned out before we were conceived and that your baby boy was brought in your life for a specific purpose and plan and one day you will see it!

I wish you the best of luck in your grief process! Please dont hesitate to send me a message if you need to talk!

I can't imagine your pain. My thoughts are with you!

its part of lyf dear control your emotion be strong make a new start of lyf god will help you

its part of lyf dear control your emotion be strong make a new start of lyf god will help you

its part of lyf dear control your emotion be strong make a new start of lyf god will help you