I Miss Him So Much

My husband of 18 years passed away in April. I don't know what to do with myself or how to move on with life. When I think I can't cry anymore, I cry more. I can't focus, can't sleep, can't stop crying... I was off work for almost a month to make sure our 14 year old son is ok. I moved away form our home because it was no longer a home and my son and I couldn't stand to be there. I moved closer to my work so at least not I no longer have an hour commute each way. I feel like I'm just running in circles. I don't know how to get off this crazy ride. I feel like this is all just a bad dream and I just ahven't woke up. I just don't know how to get through this and get life back on the right track.

wendyl564 wendyl564
3 Responses Jun 20, 2009

Wendy 1564, I am going through something similar. I see you wrote this in 2009. I'm sure now you have healed?

Right now, I'm taking life one hour at a time. I can't even think about what then evening will bring or tomorrow. I feel like I'm stuck in a bad dream. Mick and I had 18 years together. I love him so much and can't imagine what the rest of my life is going to be without him in it. I miss being in his arms. He became disabled 5 weeks after we got married. He got viral pneumonia and it damaged his lungs. He suddenly became Mr. Mom. Our traditional roles became reversed. Right now, the hardest thing for me is remembering to take something out of the freezer before I go to work so I can cook dinner when I get home. AJ and I have had alot of take-out in the past two months. AJ thinks it's cool and there are alot of choices here. I went to Wal-Mart last week and bought alot of freezer items that can be microwaved or baked in a short period of time. I just feel so lost all of the time. I can't wait for this pain to ease so I can breathe again.

One sweet day at a time my dear,,,,and some good friends to comfort your girving spirit,,,I know that it may not feel like it but everyday you will be given another reason to just keep on going,,,I read the greats story today about a man wanting to chat with God,,,well it really tickled me,,,how he talked to God right here on Ep,,,but this one person,,,was not amused,,,such painfull people,,,anyway try and find things to do that really make you happy,,,we,,,all have to finsh this movie,,,so if I can help comfort you in anyway I am here for you,,,Love and Light Mary