Is It Even Worth My Tears?

A few days ago the guy I was hooking up with for the last year and a half dumped me, in a text message, with no explanation.  He probably met someone new and therefore more exciting..... even though he'd been over just days before, acting still very into me.  I had let myself fall for him and get pretty attached even though he was clear from the beginning that this was nothing more than sex to him.  Still, we'd hang out sometimes and had several great conversations.  Plus I'm a woman and my heart is connected to my vagina.  So I was basically delaying the inevitable the whole time, but it was amazing.  I got so much more out of it than I guess he did.  And I have to say that it was worth the pain of separation; never before have I loved someone with such clarity and purity.

Now, I can't stop crying.  I have been crying just about constantly for the last three days.  I can't keep myself together at work.  I make phone calls all day for my job and I can't leave a message or have a conversation without choking up in the middle of it.  I'm such a wreck over this guy who didn't even see me as "girlfriend material."  I know I'm not the first girl to do this to herself, but I don't understand how I can feel so much for a person and he doesn't feel anything at all.  I knew I'd have to deal with this at some point, but it was going so well I kinda hoped the day would never come.  I seriously could have kept seeing this guy as a booty call for.... well, really maybe forever.  I enjoyed having complete independence and still having reliable attention from the opposite sex.  And I didn't care what he did with the rest of his time as long as I could see him regularly.  What young guy wouldn't want that?  The only thing that makes sense to me is that he met someone else that he likes more, either a new sex object or a girl he actually sees as girlfriend material (I don't know wtf he thinks is so wrong with me... I would be so good to him).  Yes, the pain is worth the beautiful memories.... but I just can't stop crying.


3-24-10  Edit:  I found out that the reason I'm not "girlfriend material" is because I wasn't born Armenian and he wants purebred Armenian babies.  Wow... now THAT hurts.

cssoulsearching cssoulsearching
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 10, 2010

To Rob, yes you can think with your brain, you can tell yourself billions of times that this is not right and I have to get out of it, but you have a heart which overpowers your mind and make it so much harder for you to move on! And yes things like this are a good experience out of the bad and will definitely help you out a lot in the future. Maybe you should have the brains to actually comprehend the story and try to see it from another perspective, obviously you haven't been through much in life to understand anything.

Rob, I will repeat myself... the pain I feel now is worth the experience I had. Hopefully next time you are commenting on someone's story, you will "have the brains" to do so from a less judgmental perspective. We all do the best we can with the information and resources we have at the time.

If you knew what kind of a relationship it was, why did you let yourselfe get so attached, You should have given this alot more thought before you let this happen. Hopefully you learned something from this experience and have the brains not to get caught up in something like this again.