I Wish I Could Stop!

I quit cutting for about a month and a half and then somthing pushed me to breaking apart a razor and cutting.  Everyone, friends, family all want me to "just stop" as they say. and they ask me why dont i just stop, and i can never find an answer for them besides "i just cant, you dont understand" and every since i started back cutting, i want to stop because i can see that it is hurting EVERYONE around me but then again i DONT want to!

ifeelsoalone ifeelsoalone
18-21, F
16 Responses May 22, 2007

i know a way to stop you from cutting yourself its an old mind trick lay on your back think of a person doing something that you enjoy whatever that might be, try to feel what they feel see what they see, after a few weeks this may get weird but you can sometimes go into a dream like state where you can physically feel whats happening and can choose what will happen. just to note that you go passive your body recovers like its dreaming and you can wake at any time but your not technically asleep this is probably the same thing as lucid dreaming I don't know but it works for me it might work for you. good luck! :-)

It is so hard. I understand its not even explainable the way it makes you feel.

family and good friends are usually the worst kind of help in this situation. They dont get it, you're right and they wont so it is useless to try to make them understand. I had done research and printed history about cutting and made booklets for my parents, even my partner doesnt get it. cutting is a bad way of dealing with problems but when you are at a breaking point, it is better than more severe answers. You are young and have plenty of time to change yor habits and learn how to release pain and anger and sorrow. they may not be as fast or give you the amount of peace cutting can give but it will be healthier for you. Lastly, Its not about them, They worry about you cutting but they never care to find out why it is being done. Just stop doing it, thats kind of funny, tell that person to just stop one of their vices. 15 cups of coffee because they need that kick, or taking 5-10 pain pills because it always hurts. Oh so thats your release from pain and its something you do to keep on going. well so is what i do and innumerable others. just try to work things out before you start to look like me. I always just say i was attacked by a bear and what a good story it is until they see written words.lol talented bear huh...

Its like every time i promise myself i wont do it any more something pushes me over the edge & i feel like i need to or i wont ever feel better again, then when i done i feel so guilty ,

sometime theres an overwhelming urge that leads to that. ive broken apart razors, grabbed kitchen knives, earring backings, anything that could do some damage.. its not something that you just "stop"..

Did you tell someone, or did people just find out? I know how you feel, I've been cutting for about 2 years now, and I want to tell one of my close friends, but I am afraid that she will tell my mum or someone else about it, and I don't want anyone judging me for doing something that helps me stay in control.

wow ummm okayy? FREAK!

i was cutting 2 or 3 months ago, and randomly started again. i know how u feel, its a difficult habit to break, more like an addiction. just be strong, u can get over this, it just takes determination.

i understand how you feel. i have been cutting for over a year and people ask me about it and i have nothing to say. i even promised a friend i would quit but i can't. it feels like when you are hurt emotionally...you just want to focus on something else. to focus on physical pain instead. i can see how much it hurts my friend as she was there once too...but i just hurt so bad i can't stop. its my only outlet.

well that was interesting seems as if you have problems

i feel the some way. i don't want to stop, but i suppose i should. ppl on hear keep telling me i should, but it's so HARD!!! i understand what u mean.

like whatnext22 said scars aren't fun to lie about, and it does bring me back to a dark place when I see them. I do feel guilty. <br />
Personally I haven't cut in over two years and what helped me was making a promise to someone that I wouldn't. I've also really focused on finding positive ways to cope with things. Talking about what is bothering me to people has helped a lot. Journaling. Praying. <br />
I still have a hard time with it...

I've tried numorous methods to stop myself from cutting and to not think about doing it. I haven't in a week or so but every day I feel the urge in my gut to just do it one more time. No one in my family understands. My mom is scared but she didn't go through this. It seems weird talking to her about something she doesn't get. Maybe you can help me. Please... Thank you.

I know what you mean, I was a cutter, i stoped recently, and I dont plan on going back, because it huts to look down on my arm and see those bruises, think about this, my health teacher asked me this, she said " When you get older and start a family, what are you gonna tell your kids when they ask what are all of those bruises from, when they walk up to you and ask "mommy whats wrong with your arm." And thats reality, it might not even be your child, it could be a friend, a family member who didnt know, or maybe just a person- a stranger. You see, when someone ask you that, it's gonna take you back there back into the dark, it's gonna make you feel sad, depressed, and guilty and so much more. I stoped cutting because one of my teachers looked at my arm and burst into tears, she held me and cried and cried, and she asked why, because I have so many friends, I'm smart. and eveyone in my school looks up to me, even some of the adults, and she just kept asking why. Because it just didnt make any sence to her, it also brought her back to a couple years ago when her friend tried commit suicide, and was a cutter, & she thought that i was gonna commit suicide. and you know I never really saw how much I was hurting everyone around me until that day- I made a teacher cry. That felt horrible, and so i felt guilty, so then i cut, then i felt guilty for cutting, so then I cut again, it was all like one big neverending cycle. But then it stoped because I got help. And the only thing I can ask you to do is to get help too. Talk to someone, because if you want to stop, then whats stopping you? If you live with someone, ask them to take all of the knives, razors, etc. and hide then out of the house, because if your like me, then you go hunting for the razor. Find a different outlet, writing ,talking drawing, singing, running whatever, there are so many healthy outlets and cuttings not one of them, because one day you might cut yourself in the wrong spot or too deep and your gonna take yourself out. And it's gonna kill the people who love you. And I know you dont want to do that. <br />
Have you ever heard of the rubberband method? It's used to replace cutting, you put a band on your wrist, arm, or wherever you cut, then snap it whenever you feel the erge to cut, and it hurts just as much. Or the ice method, i've only heard of it once from my teacher but you hold the ice in your hands until it hurts to much, then you let it go. But whatever you do just dont cut O.K. there are people who love you more than anything in the world, there are people who live because you here, and when your gone, what are they gonna have to live for? Think about that. Get some help, or talk to someone who will hep you, don't cut, If I could stop, then I know that you or anyone else can! It'll be O.K. Try some of those methods, they might help!

That sucks, mang. Make sure not to go overboard

i break apart razors too.

i know how you feel i still cut my self i have been doing for the pst 6years and cant stop i guess that when your ready in your own time you will stop cutting i can tell you now parents teachers nut doctors are all the same they dont understand because they havent done it Do this for youself no one else ive tried to stop because i have a 3year old son and i cant wait and see thing only get better