Binge-eating Disorder.

I have recently realized that I do have a problem.  I was in denial for so long.  But food really is a problem for me. 

I eat when I'm feeling sad, lonely, bored, happy, excited.  The only time I can't eat is if I am nervous or anxious.  But once I calm down, I eat like there is no tomorrow.  When I am deciding what to eat, I only think about how I can get the most possible food.  Like, at fast food, I try to order things that will fill me up.  I get excited when there is alot of food.  When there is not enough food,  I panic. 

I sit there, while I'm eating, and think of the next thing I can eat so that I can get full.  While I eat my dinner I sit and think of what I can have for dessert. 

I am not satisfied unless I am stuffed after a meal.  But even when I get stuffed, I'm usually hungry again an hour or two later.  I don't like to eat with people, I usually eat by myself.  When I go to restaurants, I barely eat, I end up taking all of my food home in a togo box because I am not comforable in the restaurant stuffing my face.

I often feel ashamed when I go to get snacks from the cabinet, so I wait until everyone is gone to bed or preoccupied some other way.  The only meal that anyone here ever sees me eating is dinner.  Then I eat in my room.  For me, I know I am eating when I am not truly hungry, but for some reason, I feel hungry. 

If I have to eat at a table with a bunch of people, epsecially if I am not comfortable with the people, I don't eat as much as I want to and usually just sneak and eat later or go to bed hungry. 

I have made a promise to myself to stop doing this because I am so sick of my family making me fee like crap about my weight.  My mom has been getting "fat shots' to lose weight, and yesterday my heart sank when she walked by because she was almost my size.  If she gets smaller than me I will be so miserable.  My sister is so skinny and my mom brags and brags and brags about her for that.

Today I have not over-eaten nor have I ate when I haven't been hungry.  I've only had two things today and its 4:30, so that's normal.  I really hope I can keep this up.

urbrandofheroin urbrandofheroin
22-25, F
5 Responses Mar 24, 2009

I'm currently at a McDonalds parking lot struggling with the same exact thing. The past 3 days I've been eating non stop and I'm scared that my jugulars will start hurting again... I tried calling my best friend to talk to her so I can get my mind off of my damn food but she's sick...I've given in today. McDonalds heart attack special today... I just keep going to my fridge for no apparent reason and I just finished the last chef boyardee can in the huge box. I love the comfort that food gives me. I just cannot stop...right after I finished the last can of ravioli, I came here to the McDonalds parking lot... Here's the part that I don't understand sometimes: I wasn't even hungry. I was stuffed from chef boyardee, I was feeling quite sick as I ordered from the dollar menu. It's like I have to eat. I'm making myself do this and I don't know how to stop!

sounds like me aswell, but im 83 kgs i don't know what it is in pounds but i do the same and i feel horrible everyday

I eat allllll the time, then go thru starving myself, and i alwayssss think about the way food tastes, like u i hide it, i binge eat, buy stuff and hide it so noone knows i have it, it's painful and i to can't stop to the point i'm 320 pounds!!!!

Yeah we should, I try to starve myself sometimes. Like yesterday. I felt good because I didn't get hungry around dinner time. My own mom told me to take correctol pills to lose weight, that made me feel like crap.

I am the SAAME WAY!! I cant eat when I am anxious because it makes me sick but I eat for everything else. I then try to starve myself to loose weight. We should help each other.