I Wish I Could Erase Her From My Thoughts...

This is all happening too fast. I met a girl, and fell in love. We haven't been talking but for three months but I am in love with her. I decided to share with her these feelings and I think it was a huge mistake.

Right now I wish I couldn't think of her at all, but she is all that is on my mind. It really sucks! We are a good distance away from each other..about a four hour drive. There is also an age gap. Only a year, but it is making a big difference.

I told her that I loved her. First it was a positive thing, and I was really happy. She told me it mde her want to see me more. Then she asked me if I really meant I would follow her anywhere of course I said yes. She said it just wasn't realistic. It stressed me and for a while I considered just giving it up. Then something happened that would not allow us to talk anymore. I was nearly heartbroken. My heart just felt incredibly heavy...I didnt even have the desire to do anything at that moment. All I could do was cry...and cry. I think that was a sign in a way to let me know I shouldn't give up.

Now everything is just a bit confusing. Who am I kidding a LOT confusing. I have no idea what she is even feeling. She won't tell me what's on her mind. I don't even think she believes what i am saying. Now I'm doubting she ever did. Whenever I go into this situation...its like she leads me on. First its a good thing then its not. I am breaking my back trying to convince her that I am not lying. I do not even know how to show that! She keeps telling me she likes me...or that if she were her we'd be together....then she turns and says **** like "its not realistic" or "you won't always love me"

I wish she would just make up her mind and stop messing with mine!

I have no idea how to even explain it, but right now I am just hurt and mad. I do not even want to talk to her...but at the same time I do. I wish she would just leave my mind for good. She puts me through more ups and downs than anything. I can't even believe i am still thinking about her period...I hate when people are indesicive and I DEFINETLY HATE when I am being lead on. Its either you like me or you don't.

I have no idea what to do.

obvious11 obvious11
22-25, F
3 Responses Mar 11, 2010

dude i totaly know what ur going through i myself have completely fallen for this girl. shes my best friend and ...well to but it as short as possible shes my dream girl. The only problem is that shes got a boyfriend....whos 6 years older than her...... I finaly managed to tell her how i feel....well more like stuttered it while trying to tell her until she said she knew i was in love with her. the problem is i cant be with her like that despite the way i feel. the way this girl has been acting has honestly typical. its just that she dosent know how you really feel. if u ever get the chance to be with her tell her in person. it kinda sounds like she dosent know what to do so shes acting like this. you have a chance to be with her so dont give up on it no matter what.

Hey obvious 11,<br />
Sounds like you have a BIG heart and this girl just isnt ready to be loved.This is no comfort,but there are stacks of women out there who would really love to find true love and devotion,the kind you are offering.... problem is finding someone who will open up and allow themselves to be there,someone you can feel deeply about too.<br />
Until you have resolved your feelings for this lady you are stuck in limbo....and with all that love inside you it sounds like you deserve to move forward and have the best.Try not to obsess about her (if you can,which is a lot easier said than done I appreciate) coz it may eat you up and make you bitter which will continue to be acres of negative emotion and oceans of heartache.<br />
I really hope you find true love soon with someone who recognises what the have and truly rocks your world.

Maybe you should stop worrying about it so much, I mean, it's easier said than done, but the truth of the matter sometimes is as simple as "out of sight, out of mind" Once you are doing something else that is fulfilling for yourself, I know for me I turned to working out, and healthier lifestyle changes when I was having a hard time getting over my ex. At first I still thought about him a lot, but eventually I started to wrry about me... Take care of you, either she'll come around or she won't, but in the meantime stop worrying about it so much, you sound as if you have a lot to offer a woman and I'm sure that another will come along and prove that unconditional love right back to you...