Doctor's Appointment

Back in the summer I was foolish and when over a guy's house that I just met to watch t.v. but I ended up spending the night which led him on because I got in the shower and had him wash my pants I wasn't thinking I watched a movie and dosed off he went in the living room until 2 in the morning drinking he came in the room try to put his thing in my butt-hole but I didn't let him so he pressure me for a minute then dropped it. Every since that day I had nightmares about that day I was stupid and foolish. So today I went to the doctor because I finally told my sister about what happen she said it must of traumatized me. The traumatizing part was i start to itch a month or two afterward. The moral of the story is I feel excited that I got that off my chest and I can finally find out whats wrong with me. Because I thought it was rape but it couldn't be because he would've held me down my sister told me its something called force rape even though he didn't succeed. But this is not the first time force rape happened to me it happened when i was 8 so it happened 10 years ago. I'm just happy I got it off my chest and I know I'm not dying and its not my fault it happened to me well it is but it wasn't my intention and he didn't have to try to force or how every you say it. It felt like I set myself free and I can let go of this chapter and move on.
mizbossy mizbossy
18-21, F
Jan 8, 2013