I Am...

I cannot move,
I cannot see,
I cannot speak,
But I hear,
I feel,

I feel the dirt burry my bones
Each grain filling all the crevasses
All the fractures,
All the breaks,
All the cuts,
New and old

I hear the footsteps of the man above,
Pacing back and forth,
His breath thick and heavy,
Almost demonic,

I cannot see the darkness,
But I feel it,
Creeping in slowly,
Burying itself within me,
Once and for all

He’s nearly done now,
I’m nearly lost,
Nearly forgotten,

Still, I have hope
Maybe someone will remember
Maybe someone will find me
Just maybe…

I feel the ground around me vibrate
He’s walking away…
Leaving behind
His mistakes his fears,
Buried next to me,
So no one could find them…

Days pass…

I’m decomposing now,
My body becomes a feeding ground
For anything hungry
They rip my flesh apart
Bit by bit.

I’ve lost track of time…

I feel my heart weaken
Without it’s beat
And with it goes my hope
No one will ever find me…
And worse
No one will understand.

I’m nothing more now,
Then a pile of bones,
My story eaten away with my flesh

My story… never told…

He beat me
He raped me
He killed me
I am dead.
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6 Responses May 10, 2011

Thank you, your words are mine that I couldn't put on paper. I was raped a long time ago and the pain has lessened with time yet it still haunts me in different areas of my life. The shame can bubble up through my veins until I can't breath. It comes out of no where. I hope you know that you are not alone and the pain will lessen. The shame and ugliness belongs with him, even though it may feel stuck to us.

its wonderful I'm so sorry

This experience is close to how I feel! <br />
<br />
Thank you for sharing. Your still deeply hidden, do you feel part of you is dead or all of you?

maybe you should share your story to a close friend one you realy trust or a close relitive or even get some counsiling to help you through this difficult time, but what ever you do dont think for one second this was your fault (if you want post it on this site the people here have all been through the same sortof thing and can relate to this!) he's and adult and you couldnt of done any thing to stop it! <br />
I hope you are ok and put this behind you please please please what ever you do dont blame your self!<br />
good luck for the future <3

My dear...<br />
Please report whot's going on with you. Hope you didn't manage to perform the fault. And please, write down what is the reason for the poem.

I understand what that feels like believe me I have had this happen to me. I haven't gotten over my rape either but maybe thinking about something else will get your mind off of it. We have alot in common feel free to read my stories. Take care Lifeless Star