I Feel So Bad...

about 6 weeks ago now I was raped. I can't really pluck up the courage to go into details but I don't think that matters. I was really suddenly quite drunk after only a couple of drinks, well I say quite, I mean I managed to get kicked out (I can normally handle a lot more drink!). I blame myself at least partly, I know that I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I was the one who decided to walk home, I was the one who decided when I got scared that someone was following me to run down a little alley. I didn't remember what had happened for over a week after, so by the time that I did there was no remaining evidence, I had showered, I had washed the clothes that I was wearing. I decided that seeing as the police would have nothing to go but my statement and 'who's gonna believe the statement of someone who's mentally unstable as it is'. I never reported it, I say its for these reasons, which are perfectly good reasons, but mainly I think its because I am scared that nobody will believe me and that I would be reliving awful things that i am desperately trying to forget for nothing.
kirs10o0o kirs10o0o
22-25, F
4 Responses May 21, 2012

Is there a women's shelter or rape hotline in your area? It has helped me tremendously. I really feel they are the only ones who understand and have really helped me the most. It happened to me too. I did report it, but sort of one step at a time, with the help of the women's center. I'm still in a daze sometimes and it's been 11 months. You need help to get through this.

This is not your fault. I hate monsters. Take care of you is the main thing. Getting help, trying to clear the mind, taking yoga it kind of helps me some times. I am still fighting too. Just try to take day by day. Try just try. That's all we can do is try... God bless and your in my prayers.

You should not blame yourself you were not out looking to be the victim of rape you were out with friends and have done nothing wrong. I to agree with rishell that this should be reported it may actually prevent future rapes and he will get everything he deserves if convicted..

hun I went to the cops and my daughter's dad got off the rape charges but if you stand up some other girls/woman might come forward to and even if he gets away with the rape it will be on record for future if he does it to someone else I believe you should go