I Hate Him For What He Did

when i was younger  I was the Girl who got made fun of so when the oppertunity arised to go out with someone i took it. my friend got my talking to this guy he seemed normal on the phone like he cared, he was my friends friend how bad could he be! one night in december i decided to meet up with him his was there and she seemed nice to we went into his bedroom and sat down on the bed i was already a little uncomfortable but not sure what to do i had no way to get home untill my mother came back to pick me up . i sat down to see him pull out a bottle of liquer that was already halfway empty i didnt like it what could i do i just thought well maybe he has a drinking problem he started touching my face telling me i was beautiful then pushed himself on me kissing me then reaching touching my thigh i tryed to move his hand but he was to strongn for me i begged and begged for him to stop and he wouldnt he made me try to give him oral sex but i wouldnt open my mouth so he smacked me around on the bed ontop of me then he raped me . that day he took everything from me! i still think about that day and if ill ever see him again . sometimes i cant help but wish i told someone why couldnt i ? why didnt i ? i dont know! the bad dreams come and go awaybut always come back i dont think ill ever be able to get over it. im ussually a forgiving person but i cant not for this!
blueeyedangel25 blueeyedangel25
22-25, F
8 Responses Aug 31, 2012

How long have you been keeping silent about your rape?

Ugh... what an ugly thing for someone to endure.

Take courage that you are talking about it now. There are three things that come to mind from years of watching Law & Order SVU. 1) You are not alone 2) He is accountable for what he did, even if not legally because the statute of limitations has set in, but from the point of respect and dignity 3) Not everyone is like him - there are people in the world that you will eventually be able to trust.

im so sorry

It is never to late to tell some one about your story, seek a counselor or close friend. Even if there is no proof, press charges, file a report. Tell some one. You have every right to feel the way that you do in terms of hatred, but don't hate yourself or your friend for it wither, how was she supposed to know that he would do something like this. If you feel upset or angry in anyway seek therapy, they get paid to listen...
God Bless You

Sorry to hear what happen but your not alone! never let anyone harm you and get away. always call the police. all raperman belongs in jail where they have theyre turn to get raped...they wait on guys to enter jail for raped then thay rape them and make them fee like you felt and still feel. they rape them when they dont come there for rape but they are harder on rapist.

No I didnt i was to afraid to To embrassed ashamed and well most of all i thought it was my fault ... now that ive finally been trying to talk about it it all seems to late now to do anything so i say this to anyone who is reading this who has been raped and if its not to late to tell , its better that way u dont have to worry every sec of the day about the person or wondering if theyre out some where waiting watching for u or if u see them in public what would he say or do , please tell someone i didnt and now the guy who raped me is living his life like i never existed and like he did nothing wrong and i have to live with the horror everyday of wondering about him and the bad dreams never end!

you never told anyone?

Rape cannot be forgiven. It's the opposite of love, the opposite of respect, the opposite of what every woman deserves.