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Why Is He Still Out There??

I was nearly 16 when I was raped Im nearly 21 now and that nasty man is still out there. My Mom knew him years ago when she was smaller, she was out one night with herfriend when they bumped into each other they hadnt seen each other in about 20 years. So they kept in touch then he started coming up to our house, it was just me and my Mom that live here, he seemed so nice and after a while I started to trust him, he was coming up for about a month or so before this one day he came up early in the morning and said to my Mom " I was thinking we could all go down and see a few of the old friends I was telling them I met you and your daughter and they said they cant wait to meet you both".. So my Mom said to me " what you think hon"?.. So I said " Yeah okay Mom".. and I remember asking could I bring a few cds for the trip and he said " yes sure" ... He was drinking Vodka as he was driving down, I was wearing jeans but I had to cut them into shorts when we got to his house after the nasty man ripped them messing, so i was sitting in their friends house, my Mom was sitting on the chair her friend was sitting on my right hand side and my rapist ( Moms old friend) was sitting on my left hand side, We were all sitting having a laugh and chatting, when the rapist spilt his drink over me, he didnt mean to i dont think, but it happened so i went to the bathroom to get tissue to dry it all up and he followed into the bathroom to help me dry up, and for the first time i felt really weird around him, he had tissue in his hand and was drying my leg, when he suddenely stopped, his hand still on my leg and looked at me and the look he gave me was like he was looking through me but at the same time un-dressing me with his eyes, it went on for about 20seconds, untill i ran back out to my Mom and other friend, we were there for about another hour, then we got into my rapist jeep to come back to my house.. So we were sitting back at my house, me my Mom and my rapist, when my Moms friend rang her and asked her if she wanted to go out, so my Mom said she wanted to see if she could get someone to sit with me, so my rapist turned around and said " I will sit with her untill you come home ".. So I helped my Mom get ready to go out, so when she was ready she went to meet her friend that rang.. So me and my rapist were sitting in my sitting room talking and listening to music, about an hour after my Mom went out I said to my rapist " Im going into my room to put my pjs on I will be back in a second " (as i was cold as i still had jeans cut into shorts on)... So I was in my room putting on a pair of pj bottoms so I was sitting on my bed and had one leg in my pj bottoms when my rapist walked into my room I said what are you doing get out i will be out in a minute, but he just looked at me walked more in and sat on the bed beside me, so i said it again what are you doing??
And he turned for a kiss, I gave him a kiss on the cheek thinking maybe he was just looking for a kiss good night, but as i gave him a kiss on the cheek he turned and kissed my lips i tried to pust him away, but he pushed me onto the bed and forced his whole body weight onto me, and kept kissing my closed mouth, every time he stopped kissing my closed mouth i would cry please no please just stop get off me, as his hands ran all over my body, i had one leg in my pj bottoms and one leg out, i wa trying to push im off me but he just wouldnt budge. his hands were pushing my two legs apart and started to to take my bottoms off my geg and hands inside my underwear and pulling them down, You can guess the rest.... After he was finished with me he put his jeans back on and walked into my sitting room sat and finished his drink, i was sitting inmy bed thinking what is he goi to do next is he going to kill me, whats he going to do... i put jeans shorts on and i was so so sore down there, i walked to my sitting room door and he was putting his jacket on and he said to me " Iv been in prision once before ad its not a nice place i dont want to be there again "... and even if you told anyone they wouldnt belive you, and if you told anyone id kill your family. so it took me 8 weeks before i told anyone as i thought i was pregnant as i didnt get my periods in 7wks,
so the day it came out i was raped we went gaurds, and told them. the shorts were in the bin and had dna on them from him, and the sheet from my bed was in the wash, we brought them with us to the gaurds, they brought him in and gotdna sample off him and a statement off him, he said it was all me to the gaurds, after getting the statement off him and the dna. the gaurds had to wait for the dna from the shorts sheets, and his dna to come back, when it did it mached. my rapist done a runner, and he is still out there he could be doing it to anyone else. it feels like the gaurds taking it as a joke, but its my life like.. I was nearly 16 when it happened and im nearly 21 now. every day i wake up and think to my self today he might get caught and think what he has dne to me. if i had it my way id get a gun find him and put a bullett through his brain.... my head has been so ****** since then, and will be untill that low life scumbag is behind bars..... if you have read all my story thank you... BUT NEVER TRUST ANYONE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT ANYONE IS REALLY LIKE!!!
freedz21 freedz21 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 2, 2012

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you need to learn how to CALL THE POLICE!!!!!

Hi beautiful girl, please the next time you go to sleep promise to yourself that you will stop thinking about that guy, stop thinking of the dirt, stop feeling about him, and live your life, i want to tell you to be happy (even though i am a guy and can never understand what you went through), but you must understand that every moment every day that you spend thinking about that guy you fail to life your life and you are living for that guy, your thoughts are giving value to that person who did you wrong, yes the rapist is out there but i do not care for him god will punish him, what i see is you , what i see is you being sad, i want you to have fun i want you to live beautifully, i want you to feel love, remember please your beauty can not be taken from you, because it does not belong in your body, your beauty is in your eyes, it is in your voice, it is in your thoughts, it is in your soul which will last forever. so please please please love yourself, if i was near you i would.

If he's an old friend of your mother's, then you must (as least) have his name. Does that not make it easier to track him down?

we know his name of corse,

he done a runner

My rapist is still out there to, even though i went to the police about it. It's pathetic.

im sorry to hear that i too feel your pain

Can you find a legal advocate to push your case? Or a women's center? I understand how some type of justice is one thing that will help you move forward. In the meantime, if all of this hadn't happened, what would you like to be doing with your life right now? hmm?
max

hire some one and shoot him
do not forgive evil people

My sympathies for what happened with you. It's not your fault, and you are 100 percent accurate about the trust thing. As for the revenge, there's a famous and true saying, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Trust me, have patience, you will get him.

Thank you very much for your comment, I really just wish he would be found and put behind bars where he cant hurt anyone the way he has hurt me.. I wish i knew about this site sooner, i find it really helpful.. x

The aftermath is really horrible, I can understand because these types of tragic incidents are happening all over the world and everyday many innocent people, be it male or female, fall prey to this life-threatening cruelty. Fortunately some of these people are in my circle. Believe me when I say that helping people in need is a life to peace indeed. The tragedy that has happened cannot be changed, so please "cheer up".