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Plese Dont Judge:)

okay so i dont want to sound stupid and please dont judge but here's my story:
im 15 years old when i was 14 i started hanging round with the wrong group of friends and started getting involved in drugs/alcohol, im not gonna lie at the time it made me feel important and i just wanted to fit in. I was out with friends one night and there were a few guys i didnt know i got drunk and one of them raped me, .. i didnt even know his name or how old he was
i suffered from broken ribs, broken arm, bruises, black eye, fractured collerbone and other injuries that i wont mention
, no one knew about it and i just felt so dirty so i started sleeping around, i couldnt have a relationship with anyone as i just felt so worthless and disgusting, my friends at school found out and called me names such as sket and slag, i just felt horrible and even tried attempting suicide. My close friends helped me get through it and i was feeling so much happier and my school work was improving and i had got my reputation back, everyone had started accepting me again. i was so happy and id stopped cutting completely then i went to a party, it was going well until i saw the guy..the same guy who had ruined my life a few months before.he got me alone and threatened me that if i told anyone what had happened he would kill me, i was terrified and said i wouldnt he then raped me again and even know i have nightmares about him. I had turned my life around and now it had just come crashing down. and thats not even the end of the story, i fell pregnant with his baby and decided to keep it, i told everyone it was a one night stand and i gave my consent, i then miscarried and i felt horrible, like i had killed my baby, my closest friend (the only person who knew) said i should be glad because of what had happened and it was probably for the best becasue of who the babies father was but i didnt know what to think. I miscarried 4 days ago and i just dont want to live anymore please somebody help me x
deadbydawn deadbydawn 13-15, F 5 Responses Nov 17, 2012

Your Response


Parties clearly aren't safe anymore, so avoid those. Get clean cut, good friends. And don't let savages and ruthless thugs in your life in any sort of way. You've been through a lot, too much for someone your age. Let your parents know that you're feeling extremely down and need a therapist or someone to talk to/express your feelings and worries. Try yoga and meditation classes to try and cope with your situation. and more than anything just stay around people you trust and people that love you unconditionally.

You are obviously an incredibly powerful and strong woman to post this message. Take pride in the fact that you have a lot more strength than women twice your age. I encourage you to take the fight back. Rape is about power and exerting it over someone else. This is in no way your fault in any way shape or form. Take this to your school counselor, they have heard this before and will be able to help empower you to overcome this crisis. If you were my daughter I would hug you and tell you that I love you.

Don't let one person ruin your life forever. It's not very fair on you and it's letting him win. I don't know how the police system works but I'm sure they could help and I am so sorry you had to go through with this but stuff happens for a reason. Maybe those reasons are all messed up sometimes but don't let it get you down :) Some people say life is short. I say it's the longest thing you'll ever experience until you're on your death bed in your 90's to 100's :)
Also, don't focus on the past. Like my dogs, don't dwell on the past and you stay happy for longer wagging your tails all day long. Or in human cases with a smile on our faces. :)

These are not just a few words to mellow your sorrows, I mean it - Tell me who he is and I will bring him at YOUR feet. I know how it feels. Some people do things, which they regret later on in life. What goes around comes around, don't worry, he will get what is coming to him one way or the other. You are an upright, honest and strong person. Have no worries, what is gone is gone, what is present and lies ahead count the most. Take care!!!

First off let me say how deeply sorry I am to hear the fact that you had to go through this ordeal. Sometimes things happen in our lives that create pain and misery. It happens to many, if not all of us. However if you continue to fight for life - and try your hardest to make it a life worth living, chances are, you will find what you are looking for :)

I sometimes watch a guy on YouTube who often reminds his viewers that life is long, and there hope for those that want to make their lives better. I know that you may be hurting right now but please remember that suicide is not the answer at all. Please do not hurt yourself. You are a child of God and He loves you.

I do not know of you are religious or not but when times get hard, talk to God with an open heart. He really does listen and I think the reason I am here to help you in this post is through His intersecion.

I see that you are only 15 years old and it pains me to see someone as young as you having to go through something like this. You also mentioned having some good friends that helped you through a rough time. Talk to them about what you feel and of they really are true friends, they will help you through this.

On the subject of the miscarriage, I realize that losing an unborn child may be one of the most painful things in the world. Remember one thing though, this was not your fault at all. It is something natural that happened at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I'd like to tell you something I read a while back about suicide with young people. As you are 15, I believe it applies to you:
- You are young, gifted and special in your own way. Suicide is not the answer to your problems. You haven't yet lived out half your life yet. This means that there is over a 50% chance that you haven't seen the greatest movie of your life, heard the greatest joke, smiled the brightest smile or even met that one other special person that gives you butterflies in your stomach, the one person who you will love and will love you for the rest of
your life. Live and experience these things. Life is long and it is a gift. Make the most of it. Fight for life :)

Remember, you're awesome!
A friend you haven't met

thankyou!this comment was really helpful especially the part where you talked about not living half my life yet, thanks:)x