I Cant Stop Thinking About My Rape
So basically... im 13. but ive been through alot that scars me.
when i was 4 my dad taught me how to dance on a ***** pole. and he forced himself upon me. even for a little girl, i knew i should keep my mouth shut. then when i was 7 my mom moved in with her boyfriend, so of course i had to go too. his name was chris. so basically, he used to beat me. then one night when my mom was at work, he came in and took his pants off. at 8, i didnt understand what was happening. and i know that alot of people say that it hurt horribly, but i actually didnt feel anything. thank the lord. anyway, the next day, my vag. was very swollen. he did it EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. he did that every day until i was 9 1/2. of course, by then i knew to keep my mouth shut becase he told me he would kill me if i told anyone. so i kept that secret inside me and never shared it with anyone. not even my mom. anyway, so him and my mom began getting in alot of fights (thank god) so me and her moved to phoenix. so... we lived in a nice house until i was 11, then... it burned down. the night we were supposed to leave, my neighbor raped me in the alley. i didnt understand why, but i literally felt my vagina tearing. it hurt SOOOO bad. So... we left, and i went to a new school and made friends. by this time i was 13. then of course, me and my boyfriend zach grew close and i finally decided to be intimate with him. i knew he wanted it, and besides i loved him to death. anyway, so when we did do it, the haunting memories of me being raped, by my stepdad and neighbor came rushing back. i couldnt continue. he got angry with me and pushed me against the wall and beat me. after that he made me pretend i was happy with him when our friends were around. but after they left i would try to leave too but he never left me. he raped me every night for a week before i broke up with him. then he REALLY became angry with me.he had ALL his friends, khai, keven, seth, jeremy, alex, gar.... etc. rape me too. they all did it except for seth. he protected me from the assualts sometimes.
and the entire time all this was happening, i was being bullied at every single school i went to. i still am today. and during the strangest times, i would get flashbacks, from what happened.
when i was 4 my dad taught me how to dance on a ***** pole. and he forced himself upon me. even for a little girl, i knew i should keep my mouth shut. then when i was 7 my mom moved in with her boyfriend, so of course i had to go too. his name was chris. so basically, he used to beat me. then one night when my mom was at work, he came in and took his pants off. at 8, i didnt understand what was happening. and i know that alot of people say that it hurt horribly, but i actually didnt feel anything. thank the lord. anyway, the next day, my vag. was very swollen. he did it EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. he did that every day until i was 9 1/2. of course, by then i knew to keep my mouth shut becase he told me he would kill me if i told anyone. so i kept that secret inside me and never shared it with anyone. not even my mom. anyway, so him and my mom began getting in alot of fights (thank god) so me and her moved to phoenix. so... we lived in a nice house until i was 11, then... it burned down. the night we were supposed to leave, my neighbor raped me in the alley. i didnt understand why, but i literally felt my vagina tearing. it hurt SOOOO bad. So... we left, and i went to a new school and made friends. by this time i was 13. then of course, me and my boyfriend zach grew close and i finally decided to be intimate with him. i knew he wanted it, and besides i loved him to death. anyway, so when we did do it, the haunting memories of me being raped, by my stepdad and neighbor came rushing back. i couldnt continue. he got angry with me and pushed me against the wall and beat me. after that he made me pretend i was happy with him when our friends were around. but after they left i would try to leave too but he never left me. he raped me every night for a week before i broke up with him. then he REALLY became angry with me.he had ALL his friends, khai, keven, seth, jeremy, alex, gar.... etc. rape me too. they all did it except for seth. he protected me from the assualts sometimes.
and the entire time all this was happening, i was being bullied at every single school i went to. i still am today. and during the strangest times, i would get flashbacks, from what happened.
By:
kuddlykitten264
Age:
13-15
,
Female
13
responses
