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I Have Been Silent Till Now.

My dreadful story began in 2010 I was eleven years old at the time. I went out to the field in the back of our backyard to take my dog out. I sat down by the bushes where my dog was sniffing and then a guy came by, first I though he was just resting from his walk but I was wrong. He stayed there for a while looking around and at the ground so I went to go look for my dog so we could go. But he grabbed me covered my mouth held me down and raped me. We heard a dirt bike coming our way and I guess he panicked and he got off grabbed my face and said to never tell anyone or else he will find me, then he ran off. I don't know why I believed his threat but I was scared and so I never told anyone about it till now, but still my parents don't know I'm afraid they wont believe me or they might think its my fault.

Ever since then I could never trust anyone or myself and I self harm because I don't know what to do and I couldn't handle it. I have nightmares and flashbacks I push aside all my feelings and memories and try to block everything out. Every time someone touches me and I didn't see them coming I get freaked out and It comes back to me in flashbacks. I never went back to that field again only two times since then actually. A lot of things trigger my feeling and thoughts about that and I become very cautious on everything, most of the time I try to push it away and sort of control myself. It feels good to let this out even though its not a real person I'm talking to but it helps a little. How do i deal with this its been my worst nightmare since then.
deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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your math is a bit weak, sweetie. You are 13 now, yet it says 26-30 on your age thingie?

Might be why the account says deleted! :)

My guess is that's not really a young girl, but an older person fantasizing. Just my theory......

Gee...do those kind of folks exist here???? Shocking! LOL

it really is beyond belief! Did I ever tell you about my date with the Clydesdales?

When you had the DP???

No, that was with the unicorns. They were amazing! and very well-spoken, too!

Very versatile creatures too...penetrate from both sides! Don't you love that horn!

I have a friend who is really into unicorns. I always wondered what she saw in them until I started considering the horn. mmmmm... hung like a unicorn!

Probably shouldn't fill up this story further but I'd think it might inhibit oral but you might definitely get a thrill from the thrust of the nose! :)

noser-course. cool!

It gives a whole new meaning to foreplay!

most men dont know the meaning of foreplay.

OK, thanks for that information, Gabby.

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Hey Hun,
First i want to let you know that it is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong. My advice to you is to tell your parents. Start off with telling your mom first than maybe you and her can tell your dad together. You do need professional help to get through this trauma and your parents will know exactly what to do when you tell them your story. No matter how bad the situation may be never be afraid to tell your parents. They will always be the ones who will be there for you and know exactly what to do when you don't. Please don't harm yourself because it's not your fault. You are not alone. But know the longer you hold it in, the harder it will be for you to tell anyone. My heart and prayers go out to you. <3 hugs

Please please tell someone that you love and you know loves you.. like your parents for example, they will help you get through this, such a horrible experiance :( you shouldnt go through this alone. It definately was NOT your fault. x

Oh and no, it was not your fault. You were only walking your dog! It is extremely unlikely your parents will blame you. In fact they will almost certainly be heartbroken. Perhaps it would be better to tell a doctor or call your local victim services at the local police station. I have a friend who works in victim services and she deals with things like this all the time - a person like this will help you. hugs...i feel so bad for you. Don't harm yourself anymore ok?

Wow poor girl! That's horrible. My best friend was also raped (that's how she lost her virginity). She refused to tell people for years....Listen: you need to get professional help. This was a horrible crime committed against you and there are people ready to help you. You don't have to press charges or anything but it is almost certain you are experiencing post traumatic stress----it is very difficult to cure on your own. Poor thing, I feel for you. hugs:)