Unlucky

I need to share what happened because no one I know understands.

I am 24 now and am a lesbian (known since childhood) anyways only a select few know and recently I've been getting flashbacks and panic attacks because of it which is making it very very hard to live life thus hurting my job status school status finance status and my relegation ship with my partner.

Here it goes: the first one happened when I was 15. We knew each other. We had stopped talking because he wanted too much. I was on my paper route he found me and took me inside his home I was not willing he was much stronger than me and I was a tiny girl. He did unmentionable things to me and then released me. I was held there for hrs and my parents found me and grounded me because I had vanished they never let me explain what had happened and said it was my fault. He was 18 and never got charged.

The second one happened when I was 17. He was 19. We knew each other and were playing grand thief auto. He liked the play I was playing he said and it had excited him he wanted to show me so he did things that I clearly didn't want to do . He was bigger than me and I didn't know what to do. Messed up part he had to drive me home otherwise I wasn't allowed to leave.

That's the end I think. I had a therapist say I will always live with fear so I should just end my life because first I'm gay and that's wrong and second I'm broken and used so no one will want me.

Since this my adhd has taken over as well as my anxiety, depression, PTSD and maybe bi polar I am losing hope.
Rlb12 Rlb12
22-25, F
1 Response Jan 22, 2013

That therapist you're seeing, dump him. He's only pretending to be a therapist.