Can't Swim, Don't Even Want To Try

I remember being forced into enrollment in swim lessons at five or six years old. I was a brat. I hated my swimsuit and would "lose" it. Once I had it on, I would whine until the minute it came off. (I despise swimwear to this day and mind you, I'm 52 kg - 115 lbs - and 172 cm (5'8") and have what most would consider a great figure: an androgynous figure that lends itself to anything I want to wear even though I dress androgynously or like a boy. I am asexual ( and am personally highly offended when someone "compliments" me by using deregatory terms like sexy, but that's a different story.
After they got me into a swimsuit, I would then refuse to enter the water. I hated getting my hair wet, the heat, the depth of the pool and the temperature of the pool water. I was too young to have a say so I was enrolled but would never leave the 3ft end or relinquish my kick-board.
Finally the swim instructor kicked me out of the class when they couldn't get me to participate in any way, shape or form. I was enthusiastic but my parents were a little pissed. They enrolled my brother in at an earlier age and whilst he readily learnt, he has no passion for it to this day. Even though my parents liked the pool membership, dad quickly cancelled it once both of us kids refused to swim as he couldn't justify the cost. We lost contact with a few friends because we quit going (we only saw them there) but other than that, no biggie.
As I got older and we attended our annual family reunion, my cousins and I would play around a lot at the pool, like most kids. I never left the shallows to make sure that I was personally safe, as I don't trust other people completely with my life and never have. It's up to me to be vigilant, too. My cousin Yasmine* pushed me, thinking it was funny. First off, I HATE horseplay in most scenarios and secondly, I couldn't effing swim, so naturally I was now terrified. That was eight or so. I never entered the pool or ocean after that until I was twelve.
My dad started harking on me to swim big time at twelve, not that he hadn't before. They had threatened to sign me up for swim lessons in those years but anyone who knows me knows I'd have voluntarily drowned before even trying to swim, out of pure stubbornness, and they just quit. Again, I made it clear that I wouldn't even try- by now I had no good friends who could swim and those who could hated it- so I hadn't a reason to learn. We liked to ice skate.
At twelve, I started teaching myself the one-arm-at-a-time stroke and the breast stroke but wouldn't learn to float, tread water, go under, or get my head wet. This enabled me to enter the shallow end, pull off a few strokes and make it appear as though I were a swimmer so as to allow myself to avoid the "you should learn lecture" from my friends. Over time, pool parties became a dividing factor and I migrated towards hockey, which I live for nowadays.
I'm 29 now. I've grown up next to the ocean and several rivers (though we have very few pools around here... not a rich area and with the ocean, no one spends on a pool) and have never swam ever. I hate it with a passion and now that a few people are "encouraging" me to do adult swim lessons, am proud to say that it will be "my time to go" if I find myself drowning.
To all you swimmers out there, good going but leave me out of this death trap! LOL
VancouverCanucksFan VancouverCanucksFan
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 19, 2012

I am over 40 and I have not been in a pool at all since I was 13! I am irritated that adults who cannot swim are presumed to be "afraid" of the water...maybe it is a lack of interest!

did you try other hobbies like hockey etc. your parents should respect your wishes.