I Cry For So Long It Hurts

There's a really long continuous story to this but I can't help but to cry when my boyfriend jumps into conclusions about my intentions. He thinks I wake up wanting to start a fight or that I approach him knowing I'm going to start one. Well after he starts to yell at me and raise his voice I can't help but cry. I'll close my ears while he blows up on me as I cry harder and harder still being able to hear all the horrible things he's saying about me. I'll cry for hours till he pays me the slights bit of attention. But by that time hours have flown and I'm so angry at him. This happens all the time. We've been together for 4 yrs and I'm 25. I'm so ashamed of my behavior but I try really hard to be strong. But I almost always give in to crying and it hurts so much. My throat hurts my chest hurts my stomach hurts and this happens way to often. I would never be so insensitive to him that way not even to leave him for a secoud like that. Him or anyone for that matter. Especially someone I love.But I go through this all the time and I'm ready to call it quites. And that's where the real hurt starts.... 
meekme meekme
26-30, F
2 Responses May 18, 2012

I have been there. I used to let my ex yell at me, throw my stuff, push and shove me. I wasn't strong enough to fight back or even leave him. I felt like I belonged with him as I had no one else. Please start trying to get away...no one has the right to treat you that way and I hope you can fight your way out.

Really a pursuer? Ill have to look that one up. Well my boyfriend and i are still together thankfully because of all the years, and good times spent its really hard to let go without trying. I'm greatful that he's noticed how much ive been there for him through some hard times he's been having recently which I think has made him realize how much we both care for eachother. And also how I would like to be treated in return. I will admit my boyfriend has a tendency to cry with me most of the time. And once I've mustered up all my energy to focus on him i realize how much we both could really use the cry. His reasons for crying are usually because of his guilt of making me cry or daily stresses in life. Finances mainly and supporting his mom. No kids yet :) but I've always made a point when I cry that we need to communicate as often as possible and I think that's what's helped us keep things together. I hope that makes sense icanthereyou :) its always nice to hear we're not the only ones going through that kind of distress.