Yeah, I'm Shy.

For some reason when ever I find a girl I'm attracted to, I can't talk to her. I see a girl flutering her eyes at me, but I can't work up the courage to go over and talk to her. But, I'm not a complete lost cause. Whenever a girl traps me in a situation and I'm forced to talk to her I turn into a flirt machine.

Here's the thing, I want to be able to see that hot girl in the bookstore and walk over to her and say "Hi" without almost having a nervous breakdown (Stuttery and shaky voice)

It seems when I try to be suave I stammer and trip over my words. I don't know. I just did a search for a group like this and didn't find one so here it is, I guess.

Charter Charter
18-21, M
7 Responses Aug 6, 2007

Here is some tips that might help.<br />
<br />
Start with a compliment. <br />
Paying a girl the right compliment makes your intentions clear from the start, <br />
she'll know that you're interested in being more than her friend.<br />
<br />
Know what to avoid. If you're going to pay a girl a compliment about her physical looks, <br />
stick to her eyes, smile or hair, not her body.<br />
<br />
Make her laugh. If you're sure you've got a joke she'll appreciate, give it a shot. <br />
The goal is to show her you have an engaging sense of humor.<br />
<br />
You should be kind, nice, gentle, sweet and thoughtful, and not just flattering. <br />
Most important of all, talk to her like a normal person.<br />
<br />

Im in college now and struggled a lot approaching girls in high school and begging of college. I recently found a combination of books that work really well together that I got here . I thought it would be a scam just like every other self-help mombo-jumbo, but for some reason the author in these books helped me a lot better than the others and now girls are all over me, its pretty crazy when you first see the signs of it (not to brag).

If she's fluttering her eyes at you, don't you think that means she *definitely* wants you to talk to her? I would have thought that meant she's practically put up a giant flashing neon sign that says "COME OVER HERE AND TALK TO ME"...

Well, I think it might be the fear of rejection. Once I see that a girl is willing to talk to me then it's all down hill. But otherwise I shake in my boots until I find out otherwise.

Truly shy people (as in generalised problems with interactions) tend to get even MORE shy when cornered! It makes me wonder what the problem you have with the *approach* is.<br />
<br />
Is it a moral belief about approaching women? I only ask that because if you're a flirt machine otherwise, then your technique and your confidence in technique sounds like it should be intact.<br />
<br />
Or is it fear of being rejected (not usually a problem when you get cornered)?<br />
<br />
Or that you think your Approach technique needs more work?

Ya kow, that might actually be the case. I had always just assumed that I was Shy.

So does this mean that when you're trapped by a girl, you're not only a flirt machine, but you're also stutter and shaky-voice free? If that's the case, it sounds like you can to talk to girls just fine, just that you have problems with the *approach* aspect?