I'm only 16. My mom's a hoarder. I'm trapped in this house. I can't get out. I pretend to be happy around my parents because it would kill to let them know how I really feel. And my real feelings? Anger. I can't feel anything else. I don't feel love. I feel alone. Growing up like that, in this home can mess up a person mentally. I say I love them but really I'm lying. They've constantly lied to me though, so I know no better. We don't have a lot of money either. So, I constantly worry about that too. They forced their financial issues onto me and make me feel guilty for wanting to do something most kids get naturally. I can't do a lot of the things other KIDS my age are doing because we can't afford it. I pay for my own phone and have paid for my own driver's ed. because I want to drive so I can get out of here. Which brings me to the next thing, if I ever get enough money to pay for insurance, my parents won't even let me drive because they can't handle me growing up. I can't date, I can't do things alone, I can't be independent. But I am alone all the time at home. No love. So yeah. that's my story. I could probably go on forever and ever about how much pain I'm in but then I start feeling guilty for having these terrible thoughts about my life and my parents in my head, which is the most messed up part: even though they put me in this much pain I couldn't bear to tell them this because it would make the last few years I'm living with them even worse. So I'll just stay under this huge lie forever.