my dad.  i cant talk to anyone about it.  a few months ago he moved to warren in pa, 4 hours away from me and my mom.  they have no marital issues.  i dnt know why he would take ajob  offer 4 hours away.  if he loved us he would stay here with us, wouldnt he?  also, his smoking problem.  hes been smoking since he was a teen.  he refuses to stop.  weve tried giving him patches, medication, everything.  he refuses to stop.  i tell him so often it hurts me, that i cant bear to lose him.  he knows im hurting but doesnt care, he continues to smoke.  it hurts that i cant get to my own father, that he would chose cigarettes over me.  when he visits my mom and me on friday saturday and part of sunday, he always find some reason to get out of the house..we rarely see him even when hes not in warren.  i cant make sence of this.  is it him? is it something weve done?  and with the smoking, hes a doctor and understands the harm it does to him...i dnt know what to do.  And he gets so angry with me when i talk to him about smoking, try to relate to him, or try to have a heart to heart.  i dnt feel loved..and i hate telling people my feelings.  it makes me feel alll awkward, idk y but i just do.  but i tell him anyways.  i would do anything for him to stop.  i just feel soooo useless and although this may not seem like a pressing matter, when ur actually experienceing it, it hurts so incredibly bad. expecially when its someone you care about so much and would risk your life fo
vini11 vini11
2 Responses May 5, 2012

wow, thats realy good advice..but its just hard to think that we were so perfect and now..everythings just crumbling..i mean, how does a perfect family come to this??

Well this is just my advice. So no offence or harm meant. But I feel your dad is definitely leading another life and I'm guessing yer parents have martial issues you are unaware of. I know it's hard to talk about these things but if you want to heal you have to first acknowledge the real problem. You need to speak with your mother about this issue and she what she says, and then depending on what she says or if she says anything at all you may need to confront yer father. These things don't just disappear and yer only hurting yourself the longer you wait on the issue. <br />
As for the smoking, your father is harming himself AND his loved ones and the fact that he is either blind to this or doesn't care really shows that there are some serious issues in his relationship with you and your mother and again, in my opinion, you should confront them and do not let just walk out on you when you ask for answers