I Don't Know What To Do Anymore

I started dating this guy two & a half years ago and we recently just finally ended it after a two month long break up. When I first met him, he was perfect, amazing, I swear to this day I HAD the most amazing and perfect boyfriend in the world. He didn't talk to ANY other girls, didnt hang out with ANY girls it was just ME. I was his one and only. He was very protective over me. Always made sure I didn't smoke weed or drink or skip any of my classes and made sure I made school a priority. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't even be graduating school early and going to college a year early. He was perfect. But over time things would get rough & I would resort to smoking weed or drinking (not often) to deal with it. He of course, 100% against that did not like it. He comes from a Muslim family. He's kurdish so of course after being together for 2 & a half years I have not once been to his house or met his family. As we approached our two years everything spiraled out of control. He broke up with me bc he did not like my mistakes of the past (smoking & drinking) and it was a very serious break up. It was the hardest I have ever cried. When we broke up, for what I thought was good, I just had to get some sort of rebound bc i refused to let myself stay depressed and miserable over a guy who at the time made it clear that he did not want me anymore. But even that didn't help and I tried to make things better with my ex and we got back together. I told him what I did with that guy (kissed him) and that just made everything worse. He forgave me but nothing was the same. We were mad at eachother & never happy for so long. We broke up again the day before Halloween & I felt so strong & happy and thought I could finally do this and I did. Well, a couple weeks later he contacted me and begged for me back. Of course I was gonna give him that last chance. I lost my virginity to him, he was my best friend, my everything. We had nicknames for eachother, we play fought, my family loved him, we were always cuddling but after I have him that chance things didnt seem right. He'd come over but would never bring his phone. He'd always say he'd gave it to his mom bc hers didn't work and shed go out and need it. One night I decided all the not being happy all the time had to stop so I changed my whole attitude and was really sweet to him one night and started to be happy. The next morning I wake up and go on fb and look up his name..I see this account that iv never seen before. He made a Facebook behind my back and didn't even tell me about it and was talking to another girl on the. I confronted the girl & he told me "don't be mad bc she's prettier than you" & that just tore my heart in half. I already struggled with my self image bc I am very insecure about my body and it consumes my life daily. I'm not depressed bc the relationships over & I want him back. I'm depressed because he turned into this person who wasn't even CLOSE to the guy I fell in love with. And I'm just so heart broken bc of that. And to top it all off my period is pretty late & I'm not sure if it's late bc of the stress if late bc of another reason that I won't put on here but if someone (a lady) who's pretty educated about women
Stuff could help me or talk to me about that'd be great. I know some people are probably going through harder things than this but this is my life & this is hard for ME and I struggle to make it by each day. & I need done help and advice to keep me going..
GloriaVzqz GloriaVzqz
18-21
Nov 25, 2012