Never Ending Expectations

I am asian and 15. And like every anal asian parents, my parents expect me to be the best. They literally expect me to be perfect like some Japanese created robot. I always feel like I am being compared to my sister. They may not express it in words but the comparison is inevitable. My sister is amazingly perfect. Smart, hard working, athletic and beautiful. Dont get me wrong, I love my sister and I am absolutely sure my parents love me too. I always try my absolute best to be thankful for everything they have given me. But their never ending unsatisfaction and high expection always make me wonder if this is the life I wanted. People tell me it is for my good and I definitely understand; trying to make me study, get better grades and most likely a better life from this mediocre life I am living now. But because of this I feel like my dreams and ambitions are being suffocated out of me. My dad is super anal like literally, his love to me is being controlled by his never ending change of moods. I really try my best to change myself into someone he wants me to be. I have really bad sleeping habits. But this year, I got up at 6 in the morning all by myself even with just 2 hours of sleep and went to school, never had he once have to nag at me. I try my best to discipline myself and get myself to study. I am moulding myself into that perfect art piece he has envision of me but just yesterday, he told me to wake up and stop making him stress. All I did was to take a nap because it was the weekend already and I was exhausted from choir and school. I know people that read this will think I am some spoilt brat that absolutely do not understand the kind of **** other people in this world go through. So I apologise, I just really needed someone to talk to.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 12, 2013