August 2003; My Life Flipped.

Thinking about that day just gives me the chills. I wish I realized or seen the future on that day. That day was the day when we moved to Las Vegas, Nevada.

We moved to Las Vegas, from Hawai'i thinking that jobs will be better here and plus it's cheaper there compared to Hawai'i. I was sad thinking that I will leave all my friends behind, my close friends who knew me since I was young. I was in third grade about that time when we moved so I didnt really grow up there, but I knew in my heart that I felt I was really at home in Hawai'i.

Landing at McCarran International Airport was the biggest mistake my father ever decided. I know that it's bad to have regrets, but I REALLY REGRET that day when my mom pulled me out of class and we flew to Las Vegas.

You know why I hate it here? So much?
So much **** was thrown at me here, so much **** that was thrown at my family. Life flipped over when we got here.
My dad got sick from diabetes, it all happened in one night. I didnt know what was happening. By the time I knew what was happening I saw my father comatose on a hospital bed with a tube in his mouth. I never forgot how he looked on that day, NEVER. My mom was working full-time at Mandalay Bay Hotel as a housekeeper. And my dad worked at Goldilocks the Filipino restaurant. He stopped working there when he got sick.
My mom basically stayed at the hospital 24/7 leaving my sister and I at home eating only ramen and eggs. It was enough to sustain us.

Years pass and my dad was in and out of hospitals, clinics, doctor's office. It was non-stop and I knew it was taking a toll on my dad.. even my mom. Mama work on and off, sometimes she leaves work early to go to my dad. So much money was used for my dad, so much energy wasted.

2009, my dad decided to go back to his country. His home; Philippines. My mom loaned from many places just to get my dad there. But she warned him that dialysis was expensive, but my dad insisted. My mom gave everything and anything that my dad wanted. We landed in Philippines hoping that leaving him there would heal him but it worked the other way.

My aunty; my dad's sisters PROMISED to help him. When we came back to Vegas, it was just only us three girls in the house; my mom, my older sister and me. Months passed and my mom was up to her neck on these loans she needed for my dad.

He passed.
He passed and I didnt get to see or talk to him. Not even "Hi." Nope. He just passed. I remember how my mom told me. I was getting out of the shower about to get ready for school and my mom came in. She wasnt crying but her eyes were sparkling.

"Papa is gone." she said. I looked at her and looked at my sister and she was crying. It took me a while to absorb the news. Then it hit me, my dad is gone.

We traveled back to Philippines, with the money loans, to sort everything out. Funeral was over with. My dad is gone. No more. Sleeping..

We came back and again started our new life. My dad's hospital loans, bills and other loans to pay for bills piled up on my mom's back.

2012, my mom is under water from all of these loans. You know what she said that made me cry for three days straight? "I give up."
"I GIVE UP." "I GIVE UP." The toughest woman I know said these words. I cried for three days straight. Believing. Absorbing the fact that she has given up.

2013. Another year in our lives. My mom hasnt given up because of us; her kids. Still struggling with financial and health issues. And here I am writing this.


An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 13, 2013

EP User, I feel for you and your family. I am sorry for the loss of your beloved father, and the endless financial struggles your mother is mired under. She is indeed a tough, strong woman. What an inspiration, that her love for you and your sisters are keeping her determined to get through these dire straits. Please use her energy and strong will to keep positive. Be strong for your mother and sisters, resolve that you will have the spirit to get through this. I believe in you and your family. Don't hesitate to reach out to other people; I know I've been blessed even by strangers when my will has been tested.