I Knew Her... My Story Of Amanda ToddThis won't be like most of the other stories on here. I'm just here to write what i knew about her so maybe people can learn something more. This is just the smallest part of her life and just seeing her video and reading about her, you still do not know really anything about her. I'm not trying to act like i know absolutely everything about her; since i know that i know almost nothing except this stuff and a little. I left a lot of things out, a lot of terrible things since she might be gone, but they are still very personal. I'm not here for help, pity, or someone to talk to. Whats happened has happened and i've accepted that. If you're gonna say **** don't even bother typing it, i couldn't care less. This is just what i knew about her for the short time that i did know her and i wanted to write about it...
I'm not exactly sure when I first met her (exact dates are tough after two years) but I'm guessing it was around the end of 2010. We met on a online chat thing, not like the video chat thing that started it all (much more directed towards kids and teens), and after talking to her for a few minutes she brought up suicide. She was planning on doing it in one of the following days and had accepted what was to happen. Although, this was all before the picture stuff and everything had occurred. Being the person i am, i stepped in to try to help in any way i could. The time had past, and she sent me a facebook message saying that i was one of the reasons why. I don't know how much she was really committed to it, or how much i really had helped her. I do know that she lived to see another week. In the following weeks i had learned more about her. She absolutely loved singing even though so many people continuously told her that she wasn't good enough. That she would get upset over the smallest things and wasn't always the nicest of people. Though when she wasn't pissed, she was an amazing person to talk to if you really knew her.
I had known about the picture and what had happened from when the blackmailing first started. To get this straight, when it comes to the whole web chat thing, she was talking to some random people on blogtv and they began to tell her about how beautiful and everything. She was only 13 at the time and over reacted to it quite a bit. They had asked her to flash them and she did. She didn't know how old these people really were, who they really were, or that they were recording her and everything she was doing. A while later she received a message on her youtube account about how they had this picture of her. If she did not do what they wanted (private web shows) then they were going to send the picture to all of her facebook friends and everyone. She deleted her youtube account which had the only videos of her all the way back from when youtube first started of her singing. Hopeing that it would end it all she continued on without doing anything. While she ignored the threat, they had followed through with it. Almost everyone on her friends list saw the picture a long with a message about how she was a ***** and everything.
Even before the picture people had always treated her horribly. She had a semi-dysfunctional family that wasn't always there for when needed, and i won't get into detail about that. Even if her parents paid more attention to what she was doing online and everything. If she really wanted to video chat people, it would be difficult to stop her.
Around June of 2011 we split ways and we never talked since then, and i couldn't regret it more. Though i knew that one day she was going to commit suicide, and there was nothing that could stop her from doing what she thought she should. I couldn't be there everyday forever for her, so i just hoped that i was going to be wrong. I still have 3000 messages saved on my facebook account with her, and going back and seeing her talking about her future and how she wanted to be an inspiration to people is one of the weirdest things.
I wasn't there when she had switched schools and all of those things happened. So i don't really know what happened and everything surrounding that. I do know that she had one of the toughest lives you could live and she never made it easy for herself. She might be just one person, but she was someone people could support and maybe even relate to at some degree. It is not because she is any better then anyone else out there. She went through a lot of terrible things that no one should really go through no matter who they are. I'm truly glad i was able to be apart of her life for the time i was. I know this was pretty long, but i didn't want to leave out any large details. I'm sorry for any grammer or spelling mistakes, since it was not really my main focus when typing this...
No one deserves to be pushed to the point of suicide. No matter who they are.
R.I.P. Amanda Michelle Todd
-Since the time that i had originally posted this i have learned that she may of been putting out explicit videos and pictures of herself. So to weigh in with my opinion, obviously this is not how people are going to give her any of the respect that she may deserve. Though, we all do stupid stuff and make terrible decisions. Just because she did things that may of not been exactly appropriate for her age, doesn't mean she is any less human than anyone else. She still didn't deserve at all what happened to her, and shouldn't of been pushed to suicide regardless of the stupid things she had done.-If anyone has any questions for any reason that you think i could answer, feel free to message me. About Amanda or not, I love to help anyway i can.