Need Advice Helping My DadI'm not exactly doing what the title of this group says, but my situation is a similar one. My dad lost his job back in January. He now only gets unemployment. We used to live in the same apartment complex, but different apartments. When our complex got bought the rent went up and the management of the place was very poor so we left. My dad said he didn't think he could afford to live on his own. Also, he had a a cancer scare right after, he thought he may have had colon cancer, but it turns out it was just an ulcer. He has high blood pressure as well and has been having problems with that as a well as Bipolar disorder. My husband promised that we'd house him in a two bedroom apartment until he found a job.
My husband and I thought that we should help him out, since he let me live with him when I was younger when my mother kicked me out. I decided since he was easy to live with then, it should be easy now. Things have changed a lot, or maybe I just didn't notice how strangely my Dad acts sometimes.
The first red flag was when we wanted to move him out. We wanted him to be packed up the weekend before the end of the month since we worked on the day he was supposed to be out of his apartment. When we rented the uhaul and paid for someone to help, all costing around $200, we found out that almost nothing was packed! He doesn't work so he had all day to move everything. He begged us to help him the last day and we did, but I got very little sleep since he was still packing when we got there. We didn't get finished until about 3pm so I only got about 6 hours of sleep since I work at night and so does my husband.
It's been about 3 weeks since he's moved in. And he still hasn't unpacked. His stuff is taking up half our living room. Every time my husband and I asked for him to unpack or perhaps get a storage unit he'd have an excuse; his blood pressure was too high, or he didn't have enough money for the storage unit (not true). The next thing that scared me was, we were talking to a friend about how after this lease ends in a year, we want to get a studio apartment so we can power save for a down payment on a house. My dad said that he doubted he'd have a job by then. I don't want to have to take care of him for much longer since I want to have kids and buy a house in a few years. I hate the idea that I have to put my life on hold for this. I know he can find a job, he just needs one that will pay him more than unemployment does, but it doesn't seem like he is trying, or even wants to.
Yesterday, I was disturbed when my husband said that he saw my dad kicking my small Siamese cat Weezer into the closet. She was in a corner when my dad came in with groceries and away from the door. My husband was standing behind my dad, who was unaware at the time that he was being watched. My husband immediately confronted him on it. He said "Oh, that was Weezer?" Like he didn't know what he was kicking. I have never known my dad to abuse animals, but he didn't deny that he kicked my cat. He admitted to us he kicked my other cat for love biting him. We told him that we don't physically abuse our cats and he shouldn't either. He shrugged. I'm scared that he is going to hurt my cats when I'm not around. Weezer wasn't doing anything annoying or even in his way, and he just kicked her. I'm very disturbed by this.
He has been doing online karaoke lately and sings when I'm trying to sleep during the day. We've told him not to sing when we're sleeping and he seems annoyed at our request, but does stop. I'm not sure what to do because it feels strange telling my dad the rules of my apartment, and having him act like he doesn't want to listen since he is the parent.
LivDragonfly 22-25, F 8 Responses 1 Jul 20, 2011