I Care For My Elderly Parents
I am a only child and my mother lives with me. At the age of 49 I have had a good life and a successful career. She is now 77. A few months ago she slipped and fell at home. Luckily I was at home. But since that day she has been emotionally vulnerable. For the first time in my life, I recognize mum is now getting very old.
Unfortunately, I have been unemployed for two years and the chances of me finding work is diminishing month by month. This has caused my breakdown.
Since her fall mum is constantly worrying. She worries about me all the time. She worries about everything (24/7). Sometimes, I get angry at her and feel guilty afterwards. I can only see her worrying getting more acute as the months and years go on.
It is so difficult. In my life, I set out to give mum a good life as she had nothing in life. I set out to stop her worrying. I have wonderful friends and aunts and uncles who understand as they have lost their parents. They have been my rock.
I have promised to myself to always look after mum. That is a promise I will keep to the end. It is unshakeable. To my last breath I will be there for her as she has been there for me. But I find it so hard. I sometimes feel isolated. I have the toughest years ahead of me. In this uncaring world, an adult son caring and looking after his mum seems to be frowned upon. I have to accept one day I will lose mum. But at least I know I have done my best for her.
I recently cried out to one of my friends, it sadly it may have cost our friendship. But he made me realise that I have a strong paternalistic instinct. I have this deep need inside me to care and protect. I want a family. I want children of my own that I can cherish. I feel guilty I haven’t given mum a grandson. That is something I have to live with.
Fortunately, I have wonderful friends who I can talk to and understand what I am going through.
Thank You
Unfortunately, I have been unemployed for two years and the chances of me finding work is diminishing month by month. This has caused my breakdown.
Since her fall mum is constantly worrying. She worries about me all the time. She worries about everything (24/7). Sometimes, I get angry at her and feel guilty afterwards. I can only see her worrying getting more acute as the months and years go on.
It is so difficult. In my life, I set out to give mum a good life as she had nothing in life. I set out to stop her worrying. I have wonderful friends and aunts and uncles who understand as they have lost their parents. They have been my rock.
I have promised to myself to always look after mum. That is a promise I will keep to the end. It is unshakeable. To my last breath I will be there for her as she has been there for me. But I find it so hard. I sometimes feel isolated. I have the toughest years ahead of me. In this uncaring world, an adult son caring and looking after his mum seems to be frowned upon. I have to accept one day I will lose mum. But at least I know I have done my best for her.
I recently cried out to one of my friends, it sadly it may have cost our friendship. But he made me realise that I have a strong paternalistic instinct. I have this deep need inside me to care and protect. I want a family. I want children of my own that I can cherish. I feel guilty I haven’t given mum a grandson. That is something I have to live with.
Fortunately, I have wonderful friends who I can talk to and understand what I am going through.
Thank You
By:
markd1234
Age:
46-50
,
Male
2
responses
