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I'm Too Nice

I've spent most of my life being taken advantage of. This is because I'm trusting and caring of other people. Too much so. I wish I could
develop a tough exterior and not be so affected by the issues of others. Case in point, when stories of animal or child abuse come on the news, I have to run into another room and cry. Everyone else seems to deal and shrudge it off. I've been deeply hurt by so called "friends".
So much so that I'm super careful about who I let into my life. Too careful. I was deeply and irreparably affected by the poverty I saw in
Cuba on our recent trip there. When I came home I felt guilty about the poor people whom I was unable to give money to. People arond here laugh and say I'm too soft and sensitive. They say toughen up,get on with it,etc. If only it was that simple.
deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses May 24, 2012

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My answer to your question about cutting off relationships without explanation, when viewed with this post, indicates to me that you are not "nice", (what a useless word that is!) so much as. Odependent. Ther appears to be an element of codependency in your personality which, if you heal it, would result in better friendships and life experiences for you. All humans have a dark side. Nothing wrong with that, it is the human condition. When you failed to grasp the possibility that people walk away sometimes for their own reasons, nothing to do with you, which is my case... And add that you become excessively emotional at abuse stories also indicates to me you might want to seek healing. Codependents' Anonymous groups are free and helpful. This world has issues, people have issues, always have, always will. Our mission is to do the best we can with what we've got, while still finding joy and laughter most days.

Yes, all 12 step meetings work on-line so you never have to leave your home. But some of the loveliest people you would ever want to meet go to meetings, and in-person, you get real hugs (something I value very much).

those stories on the news make me cry too . . . and I usually have to leave the room . . . being sensitive is one thing . . . letting yourself get hurt by it is another . . . <br />
it should be a strength . . . not a weakness . . . thank you for sharing . . . :)

One of my problems was that I never learned to say NO. I spent my life trying to be a people pleaser. I also was much more trusting of others and was taken advantage of because I was. Being too nice is definitely a disadvantage.