Been An Habit For Years

 ive always been this way since i was a little girl. i feel like ppl are starin at me(when their not) or tryin to figure me out by lookin at me. im scared of lookin the wrong way or sayin the wrong things. so i act differently wit diff ppl. even with family members. so if u dont knw me i come off as shyor strunk up. only because i have mothig to talk bout. i dont really stick up for myself whn i hear sumone tlkin bout me. i have to b n the mood. i dont know. i hate when i dont that though cause its annoyin. ive been workin on not carin but then i start to care. its jus a big uggghhhh. im an adult now. my world shuldnt involve other ppls views on me whn they dont know a thing about me. but thats what we want from others. praises n acceptance. when we dont have that then we're alone n less confident bout ourselves than we need to b. we have inner strength but to afraid to let that out. its 2010 time for some new changes. i just hope that ill change for the better.

AceMoni18 AceMoni18
18-21, F
4 Responses Jan 9, 2010

I found this that seems to help people with advice. I just thought I should tell people.

thank u 2 soo much for reading this and care enough 2comment it.<br />
ive gotta better at carin less bout others thoughts. but im naturally low confident, so its still taking some work.<br />
but instead of carin about wat they think of me, i care bout wat i think of me. thats help me alot. ppl r gnna have their opinions regardless if its true or not. but wat i think of me is much more important.<br />
i dnt have many friends at all but i try to make do with em. life goes on :]

I think everyon egoes through stages of being self conscious. But if you care too much . You should work on self-esteem . there are lots of resources out there if you look. Also, this could be a sign that your codependent behaviours could lead you into a life of being taken for granted and mistreatment. Check out Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie.I wish I knew this stuff alot sooner than when I had found it... Good Luck.

exactly. exactly!!!! this is how i feel... i think i remember this starting for me early. as early as like elementary. when i walk alone i feel like people are staring at me. i think people judge me all the time. now that im out of highschool its a little better because i dont have to interact all the time. but i think in my head that my own friends are talking bad about me. it feels like crap and it feels stupid. on the other hand when people do talk crap about me and i hear about it i immediatly snap or get sad. i react. but anyways. im soo sick of caring what other people think. i do not have a switch anywhere on my body that tells my brain to stop thinking in that way. its very very hard to avoid thinking like that. have you found any help? good luck baby!!!