I don't know anymore. I find that there's always so much going on with me that I seem to neglect, all because I care more about others well-being than my own. "Are you okay?" seems to be my favourite question, one that I never seem to ask myself at times. I've been told to realize that I'm important too... but it just never feels that way.

I'm always worrying about what others think of me and continuously fight to make sure all of my relationships are intact. I don't want to lose anyone else that's of significance in my life due to a minor fall-out or miscommunication. For example, with my boyfriend, I tend to always ask him the "are you okay" and "do you love me" questions. Not because I'm attempting to be annoying, but I need reassurance. I want to always hear things from someone else's mouth rather than assume, and when I ask questions along those lines, I always believe that it falls nothing short of the truth. I believe the responses, but I want to make sure they're the same responses every time... and if not, tell me how to fix it.

I always have and always will put others before myself, I find joy in doing so. In every relationship I've had (friendships, family relationships, boyfriends, etc), I have always been the one who falls the hardest/been the most involved, and I don't know why. I have also noticed that I tend not to believe that people can care for me as much as I do for them, or genuinely want to do things for me as I do for them. I'm not saying that I'm Mother Theresa, but I am a very good friend, lover, daughter, etc. I just want everyone to love me/treat me right but I can never really tell when they do, so I always ask. I care too much.
alexis3000 alexis3000
22-25, F
Dec 11, 2014