Defining Myself

I came out of a sheltered, private-schooled life at the age of 11 and entered the world of public middle school. In elementary, I was always a little weird - but we all were at that age, so I had no reason to be a recluse about it.

I had always worn nothing but khaki pants and polos in the school year, resulting in me having know idea what appropriate attire was like. Those first days of sixth grade I showed up in bright blue pants and tight white tees (not appropriate attire for someone who was, at the time, pretty overweight). Needless to say, people started poking jokes at me - nerd, fat ***, freak, etc.

I embraced all of those names, and I essentially accepted that they must be true. I became reclusive - I never spoke to boys or anyone that wasn't in my close circle of friends (which built up to be only about three people). I would make lists of things that I need to better about myself, but I never ended up doing anything about it.

To this day I am timid around new people - although I have gotten better about it. I've lost a lot of weight and dress a bit more normally.

It amazes me to think that it took until my sophomore year of high school to finally start coming out of my shell. It makes me think about all the experiences I might have missed. I hope my becoming of my true self will continue through this next school year and I will continue to flourish.
themissingstar themissingstar
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 25, 2010

We all feel the same at this age as we lack self-confidence and we are not very sure about ourselves. We do pay too much attention to others opinions and reactions. As we grow mature and see life and go through various experiences, we become more confident and then what we think of ourselves...becomes more important. Important thing is to learn and grow and follow your heart. Ultimately, when people speak, actually they speak not about others but their real self. For example, people with positive mind set will always see good in others and the one who is unhappy and full of negativity, will see things differently. So don't bother for the people and do what makes you happy.