Guilt Drives A Lot Of My Friendships

I care about my friends a lot. Actually, scratch that, I care about people in general a lot. And most of my actions are compelled by guilt and worry. I worry about what I should be doing, I worry about what my friends will think about my decisions and actions, and I worry about whether or not I am doing the best I possibly can for the people around me. I put way to much pressure on myself based on how I THINK others will react to my actions. For example, if my friends are all hanging out together and I just got off work for the night and would really rather go home, slip  in some PJs and hop into bed with a movie, instead I meet up with everyone because I feel like I am supposed to. Like if I didn't go and told them it was because I was tired, they wouldn't be understanding and they would judge me in a negative way. Sounds crazy, huh? But that is totally how my mind works. I do what I do because I think I am supposed to, not always because I want to. And then at the end of the day I feel good about myself and the choices I made not because I enjoyed whatever social event I attented, but becuase I felt like I did what I was supposed to. Anyone else feel this way?

lattelove21 lattelove21
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 10, 2010

Yah I have definitely been walked on a few times. Im not really sure how to stop being this way though.

well i used to do the same thing.. never to that extent but i used to dress and act as other people or friends would.. but it was always more of a fit in then a i have to please people.. i think it eventually gets to a point people just think of you as that person who does anything anyone wants and they begin to take advantage of it..