Big Blue.

Today my fish died. His name was Big Blue - Blue for short.

 

Up until a couple of years ago and - well I guess all through my childhood, I was never particularly sad when any of my pets died, they were usually fish, and I never had a cat long enough to really realise that it may have died after it was out of my house. But today is different, Blue is gone. When I snap out of it for a second I laugh at myself, I mean - Why should I care if my fish died? They don't live very long anyway, you can't really interact with them, they have an attention span of about 16 seconds...

But I feel something is amiss, I feel like a bad fish mama. I half-assed it, and should have done better. I waited at like four or five months to clean his bowl, and when I did - I shocked him dead. I let his bowl get so disgusting that the water had a film on it, which the poor thing was used to, until I tried to finally do him right and clean it…which led to his death.

It's things like this which make me feel like I'd be a bad mother, which is something I kinda already knew. I don't like kids, I'm pretty selfish, they cost too much money, and I don't want to deal with the trouble or what it would eventually become - a teenager.

Anyway, that's besides the point. Blue is dead, and I probably won't be getting another fish anytime soon, out of respect for him…

Is this crazy, am I being to weird about this? Probably. But this is how I feel because, for once, I care.

msbogart msbogart
22-25, F
3 Responses Feb 20, 2009

I understand I had two fish that died,

He in a better place. :-) it not weird to care. It would be weird not to.

Big Blue touched your heart.