I Deserve to Feel to Way

 i have done so many things in my life to so many people. sometimes i think i am actually a really awful person. i cant seem to forgive myself ... for anything. i think about things everyday and cant seem to get thoughts out of my head. i want to forgive myself so bad. i want to let go of my past and move on. but is there really anyway to do that? how can i really forgive myself? i feel like day in and day out i torture myself with thoughts of things i have done to hurt people in my life. sometimes i think that God won't let me into to heaven because of the hurt i have caused people, with or without them knowing. sometimes i think God is going to punish me for eternity and i will not be able to enjoy heaven with my loved ones. i feel like that maybe i should talk to someone about this? because i feel like i cant deal with it by myself. should i go to confession....how do i let go? i just want to forgive myself and let go. i wish God could help me to do that... i wish someone would tell me its okay to forgive myself and move on, let go. i feel like i will carry guilt with me until the day i die. and i feel like that is really an awful way to live.