A Funny Story About My Wife

My wife and I have been married 20 years and on the whole, we have had a very good sex life. For the most part, it has been at least once a week with some dry spells but also some periods of hyperactivity. Early in our marriage, my wife seemed reluctant to acknowledge herself as a sexual being. Some of the things that we enjoy now would have been unimaginable earlier. For example, right after we were married, she found some Playboy magazines that I had taken from my roommate before I moved out and it crushed her. It was our first marital crisis and I told her that would never have those magazines in the house again. However, over the years we have really grown sexually, especially when I compare to when we first began dating, and as you will read, she has become much more open.

One of the topics that was kind of taboo early on was ************. Not so much my ************ but hers. If I ever asked about it, she would blush, squirm in discomfort and try to change the topic. She would play with herself in front of me when we were being intimate but she always seemed reluctant to talk about her experiences alone.

Things began to change a few years back and thinking about it now, the changes correspond to when we upgraded our home computers and got high speed wireless internet. My wife’s job allows her to work from home so we broke down and ditched our slow service and got some really nice laptops. My wife would often stay up late after the kids and I went to bed to “work” but I sometimes wondered if she was looking at **** or other such sites. Since her computer is password protected, I couldn’t snoop but I did have my suspicions.

One of my clues was her activity in the bed. For example, she would give me a blow job if I asked but she would never volunteer one on her own. And when she did, she didn’t seem super excited to be doing it. She would often say that she didn’t know if she was doing it “right”. Then, about two or three years ago, she started getting really good at it and it kind of came from nowhere. She was very enthusiastic, would volunteer her services during our “dates” and even tried to deep throat me WITHOUT ME EVEN ASKING. I made an off-hand comment that she “must be taking lessons” but she sort of giggled and let the comment pass.

Before the “internet upgrade” I had surprised her with some bedroom toys. It was a huge risk for me because of the Playboy incident early in our marriage. At first she wasn’t too thrilled but she eventually warmed to them and they became a semi-regular part of our love-making. However, it was me who hid them, me who cleaned them, and me who brought them into the bed in the first place. She never really seemed to take ownership of them.

Then about six months ago, we got new bedroom furniture that included a nightstand with drawers for each side of the bed. One weekend I was putting away laundry and when I opened one of the drawers to her night stand, I saw the pink mini vibe that I had bought her earlier in the year. My heart pounded. I didn’t tell her I found it. Instead, I decided to keep my discovery a secret but open the drawer every so often to see if it had moved. And boy did it move. At least two or three times a week. And it always seemed to moved on Mondays which was a day that she didn’t have to go into the office.

So how did I “catch” her? It's a funny story.

One afternoon I was getting ready to leave the office. I packed up my things and was walking out to the car when I got a text from my wife. It said, “This is embarrassing. I got called into the office suddenly and I think I left the v on the counter. Margret is going to bring the kids home from school. When will you be home?”

This made no sense to me so I texted back, “What is v?”

“The vibrator”.

I jumped in the car and flew home so I could beat the kids to the house. When I walked in the door, there in the middle of the kitchen counter was her pink mini vibe sitting right next to her computer. She hadn’t logged off but the computer was still on so I opened Google Chrome and looked at the history. Basically, she had been looking at some very interesting **** sites for most of the morning. It got me totally turned on to picture my wife pleasuring herself that way. I shut down her computer, took the vibe upstairs, washed it and put it away, then texted her to say that everything was Okay.

She was embarrassed as hell when she got home but we have had a good laugh about it since. I have told her that I have no problem with her doing that and in fact, I want her to do it. She has since admitted that she masturbates a lot but she was worried as to how I would take it.

Even though she is still slightly embarrassed by the topic, she had the nerve to text me at the grocery store the other day. It said, “Love, we’re out of AAA batteries ;-) “

My wife is awesome!
runwalkcrawl runwalkcrawl
46-50, M
5 Responses Jan 10, 2013

I don't know... I think that women in general might be less comfortable discussing such topics. My wife is a very intelligent women. She has a PhD and I would say that she has strong feminist leanings. She can't stand the way women like Miley Cyrus carry on in public and allow themselves to be objectified BUT she gets really turned on by ****. I think that the conflict makes her uncomfortable so she'd rather not delve into it.

It was weird that she was the one who ultimately suggested that we watch **** together. It caught me totally off guard when she suggested it but it has made our marriage better because now we are honest with one another. Neither of us are sneaking around.

Good luck.

My wife has a collection of **** DVDs. She keeps them hidden. I know where they are, but I don't know if she knows that I know. It's silly, because I don't actually mind. I'd happily buy her more if she wanted, and don't mind if she masturbates with them. After all, why would I mind my wife enjoying herself? But how can I bring this up in conversation without causing embarrassment?

Read yours. Great! Yes, I can see how you'd have had that same gut moment when the drawer opened and you see the vibrator...wow

She has gotten more open about it since I "caught" her, and a little more careless. One day I came home from work before her. The kids were home and when I went up to the bedroom to change, her vibrator was sitting on her night stand. I have also found it in the shower. I also walked in on her while she was "taking a nap" one Saturday. She was under the covers with her knees bent. She didn't notice me when I came in the door and as I walked closer, I heard buzzing. She looked up at me startled and tried to turn it off underneath the covers. I gave her a wink and a kiss, grabbed my running shoes, and turned around and headed out the door.

My wife is the same, she never talks about ************, but I know she does sometimes. I only wish to catch her!