What have I done?

He wasnt my real brother...but he was there just like any brother would be, the brother I never had, and the brother I always wished for. He promised to protect me and understand. And for once, I actually believed. There wasnt any sign of betrayel in his voice, in his eyes and he proved to me time and time again, he would be there to hold me if I cried. Proved to me that it wasnt a childish game to him, that I wasnt some joke to make fun of.  And for once, it was actually me who ruined it.
I kept lying to him, avoiding him, afraid he would end up being hurt.  He was strong, yes I knew, and very protective, but he wouldnt be able to face the truth. No one would be that strong enough...at least noone I knew. If he was hurt..I wouldnt be able to carry the pain if that happened...but somehow he knew I was lying to him and used it agaisnt me... Not too long ago, we got into an arguement and our ties just broke.  Ive been avoiding him everytime I see him and I can see he does his best avoiding me, even though he tried talking to me numerous times. When he calls to me, I want nothing more than  to respond to him, my brother and one of the only true friends I ever had, but I cant find my voice.

ConLocura ConLocura
18-21, F
Jul 17, 2010