Across The Country

This just flowed out of me and no edits, other than a spell check

Across the country I drove
in a yellow VW Bug, built in 1972

The thousands of miles I drove
to share my life with
my future wife

We struggled
like many do
money tight
we hardly ever did fight
the hope that we would get through

A daughter born
the blessing that never ends
but it looks like for us
that is not as true

I fought some ghost
from my past, 18 years old
my innocence taken

I ran hard
fought long
denied then night
that haunted my dreams
and woke you with my screams

Friends taken from our lives
shelved grief put aside
like the night the boy in me died

I rose high in my house of cards
until a grief study
at a university
led to uncover
the night of Pandora

Flashbacks
smells, taste, dank air
spinning head,
drugged into submission
bloodied clothes
ripped open and
thrown out in the street,

Home I went to change
and drive across town to throw away
all evidence and traces of
my shame

The more I ran,
the more I fought
until it over took my soul
and left you cold.

You waited until
the doctors sent me home
you waited until
you thought
I could stand on my own

And papers were served
and now I have six months
to be
not the man you married
not the terror that scares you
not the one you love, but are no longer in love with
not the sleepy soul afraid to challenge

I once walked
with pride and belief in dreams and tomorrow.

I still walk with those same dreams of today and tomorrow

I am better than the man you married
I am whole,
the ghost no longer lives in me
it has finally been guided
to Rest In Peace

Naked feeling
letting go of so much that haunted me
what do I do in its place

I hope to be the greatest man
I can be

I hope to rise out of the flat unchanging past
to the yet future
of round and robust life

I have six months
to show you
my renaissance of being
is an adventure
made to share
and if we stay as one

I will be all about you
and you about me
and we about we
Beyond eternity
thykermit thykermit
51-55, M
Dec 12, 2012