I F[u]cking Challenge Your Definition

Wow I am feeling abnormally courageous today so here goes:

Yes I do challenge the stereotypical concept of beauty. All my life I have been told that I am far from being beautiful and it has crushed me. And as a result my self confidence is very distorted...and if indeed it is true that I am not pretty (which most likely is the case) I still lack the ability to have some self worth. I find it difficult to look in the mirror. And when I do--I sit and nitpick at my every flaw. I could spend a lifetime searching my way through fashion magazines. Awing at the perfect hourglass figures all models have and above all, comparing. Comparing how far I am from it. I stand at a mere 5'3 with a very pear shaped body and it disgusts me. I have done just about everything to change my appearance and have had success in some aspects. Then again, what good does that do if I have a never ending list of flaws..

No, I am not blaming the media for my lack of self worth. Nor am I blaming my parents for consistently reminding me how much more beautiful my sister is. I blame myself for lacking this ability to openly accept who I am, but it all proves too difficult when I attempt to do so. I have trained myself to hate. To hate my hair, my face, my body shape, my skin color, my eye color, etc.

If I could offer any advice to people who struggle with the like issue it would be to change your concept of beauty. Change it so that you can be the most beautiful person on that list. Center your definition of beauty to what you dislike about yourself, only that way will you learn to love your flaws. And better yet--hold what you like about yourself on a pedestal and NEVER, I mean NEVER let anyone's comments bring you down. It is too late for me, but let my struggles be a life lesson to all of you beautiful men and women here on EP.
CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick
23 Responses Jul 20, 2010

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!
Means that the person who truly loves you will find you lovely...
In the meantime, listen to this song:
Ugly - Sugababes

True beauty is within, remember that. Our bodies die, but our souls live on. You will age, get wrinkles, have health issues etc. Love yourself just the way you are, that's all that matters :)

*hugs* thanks hun

im glad u shared it.hugs


heehee :)

Awwwwww! so well said! Thank you for your comment, I sincerely appreciate it! :)

Thanks Jiemusu you're very sweet :)

What others see has allot to do with what you see. If you carry yourself like a defeated nothing that is worth nothing everyone else will see you that way. Don't like your shape? Recruit a friend and begin an exercise program. Reinforce and hold each other accountable for success. The exercise will help with the depression and may eventually help in other ways as well. Cut out the junk/comfort food. Many women and men like you use food as a substitute for love and to make them feel better. This is very temporary and it only makes them feel worse as they put on the pounds, become more depressed and eat even more to feel better. It's a vicious cycle that is hard to break. I have seen many girls your age that think they are not pretty that are actually very pretty. They eventually try to reduce themselves to match their self perception. The opposite is also true. Want to immediately look 100% prettier to everyone else? Smile more. This will do wonders to help your self perception and will make others more accepting of you. Stay away from people that try to hurt you and spend more time with those that accept you the way you are. Over the years I have seen many so called "ugly ducklings" transformed into beautiful confident young ladies by just one person that cared enough to help them see what they could not see for themselves. I hope you find that one person.

Fuckk beauty, it's a subjective thing anyway.<br />
<br />
I tell myself every day, beauty magazines are just there to promote low self esteem.<br />
<br />
That's why I don't look at woman in terms of the tall, slender, hourglass idea that's apparently 'perfection', because I know that the majority of the time, it's probably forced and not natural.<br />
<br />
Real beauty is inside, it should be natural. Real beauty is having the courage just to be yourself.

Aww thank you, you are too kind. I appreciate your words, I really do.

you are inspiring :)<br />
<br />
and I'm sure you're very beautiful too, even if it doesnt mean anything.

of course you can heehee :D<br />
<br />
and I would like to thank you for your comment, it meant a lot :) and I'll be sure to check out your stories!

I can relate, CrazyHippie (Can I call you CrazyHippie? PLEASE! I really want to. It would make my day...) I was always told I was the complete opposite of beautiful. I would tell my story but I have already told it many times on here and it is depressing so if you want to read it check out some of my stories. Heh. I, too am really short. Actually a couple inches shorter than you are and my body cannot decide whether it wants to be an hourglass or a pear. It is definitely not a perfect hourglass but I think I am too large up top to really be considered a pear either...I just call myself a broken hourglass...it has been shattered...with the sand leaking out of it.

Thank you for your insightful comment <br />
<br />
and to be completely honest I have thought I needed a nose job for a long time *sigh*

I love wide hipped women. I guess that would be pare shape. Five foot three is a little tall for me. I'm only five foot nine. <br />
I have two friends that are really tall. One is six foot five, the other is six foot eight. That's really big guy. Anyway, the shorter of the two, has always, since we were kids, bent over, because he felt self concious (and I can't spell for ****) about height. The taller of the two, stood like a giant. When I asked the taller one if he had a problem with being tall, he said; "What did you say shorty"? <br />
Most of the girls I see in the magazines, turn me off. They look like they should be in a hospital. Don't let the media tell you what is beautiful, or what is good music. There thing is all about money. They don't know crap. Do you think you need a new pair of pants, just because the media says yours are not in style. Don't buy into that crap. All of the media in this country is tainted now. It is tainted by greed and power. They want to rape you of all of your wealth. Maybe next you will think you need a nose job. I'm sure that will help some doctor buy that new vacation home, but it will make you poor. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When you see the beauty in yourself, other people do.

@samesongtwice and Pimpchoir: I know, I know what you both say is the truth, but for me it's SO much easier said than put into action..It's something that undoubtedly will take time..

You teach people how to treat you. If you treat yourself beautifully, others will also.

I am not about to give up on you!<br />
<br />

hahah no don't worry...I am accustomed to all my self hatred...<br />
<br />
Goodnight :)

you are going to make me come down there and prove it to you.

Nope, I think I would be unable to follow through with that...<br />
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But I am glad I got this off my chest as it has been eating at me for a LONG time

so can I challenge you to find beauty in yourself everyday?