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I Challenge You

EDIT: From March 2010- twistedchild , every Wednesday at 3pm, Melbourne (+10GMT) time. It archives, so don't fret if you miss it!!


I challenge your concept of beauty. I have spastic ataxic quadriplegic cerebral palsy. I can't walk or hold my own balance for more than a few seconds. My tight muscles sometimes make my limbs contort. I have a crooked smile and bifocals. I use a motorised wheelchair and am forced to wear incontinence aids due to a lack of care funding for more "bathroom breaks". The bulge caused is probably not obvious but I hate it. I have scars from too many surgeries gone awry. I am flat chested. I have not had sex in many moons because nobody local desires me.

I challenge your concept of beauty, because I am beautiful, no matter what.

I am not physically ugly, but I worry about the societal view of beauty. I cramp in the missionary position, so the quickie lover should not pursue me. I like the physicality of sex, but I am no bimbo. This is my challenge, does a partner have the compassion to spend quality time with me?

TheRealWoman TheRealWoman 31-35, F 70 Responses Oct 15, 2008

Your Response


I would certainly enter into a friend-with-benefits relationship with you, sight unseen, because you seem like a great person to chat with (intelligent, honest, secure), and that makes you attractive to me. To be honest, if I'd be required to care for you in ways that I don't need to do for the average woman on the streets, then I would shy away from getting more involved with you regardless of how beautiful you are. I'm brutally honest, it's a curse.<br />
<br />
As for sex, I'm flexible and great with oral so you'd have no problem with cramps around me. Once I learn all the things that turn you on, watch out!!! Your heart had better be healthy! :)

Hey Doll, I can go on the conversations we've had alone.. I don't give a flying rats arse what abilities you have. You have treated me with nothing but respect, and caring. I will endeavour to do the same to you. <br />
<br />
I have a very good friend who has spina bifida, I seen the pain she goes through, I've seen her scars and been trusted enough to go with her to specialist appointments with her. I know her history too and the horrors she's faced throughout life.. It comes down to this. I love her with all my heart and would do anything to take that pain away from her if only for one day - I would in a heart beat do so. I don't care what abilities she may or may not have... She is my friend, and I love her regardless. I have worked with children of all abilities, and needs.. So yeah... <br />
<br />
I wish you nothing but the best, blessed be, and may you find your one true love who satisfies your every desire both in life and the bedroom. Take Care Doll.. and give any of em doubters hell! LMN xxxx

peoplesprincess, I'm alright. It's the men and women who might try to catch me that you should worry about. I test them well these days.

love ya babe, don't worry you will find true love, be careful babe I worry about you!

any time, i am would love to chat with you and anyone else.<br />
<br />

Oh, man...I am adding you 637robert, I can empthise. Let's chat.

hi, i am there with you!! i have c.p. also and am so lonely to hold a nude woman, but they will not even give me the time day! i am 52 and never have seen a real set of boobs and that is all i wish for, i don't want sex just a nice set of breast to hold, suck, kiss, ect. i go out dancing hoping to get luckly, but all i get is being made fun of! we have a hard life. there are so many women and guys in this world that a few of them could see our need of being loved, and touch and give it to us, but we ,or a least i, get told "no no you must not think of that" "thay are only worker and you don't say any think to upset them"! so we must keep all our feeling in, to keep from being put a way.. not fair

YOU are NOT your body - you are YOU and I admire you for many reasons, but NOT because YOU are in a 'crooked' body. I admire you for your realisation that you ARE beautiful on the inside, and for your tenacity in reaching out to others regardless of your 'disabilities'.

I unfortunately agree with Lewcifer. People, naturally try to make others feel better and generally tend to think more positively than things really are. This online forum is a safe place for those to express themselves, but who in reality wouldn't judge someone with a physical ailment. "Stigma" by Erving Goffman addresses this concept. I think that physical attractiveness is not the most important thing in the world, and although it is scientifically proven that the most attractive have the most job opportunities and such this does not mean everything. Some of the prettiest people I know are the most miserable!

You are a strong and truly beautiful person; an inspirational to us all. Your positive attitude and belief in yourself should be an example to many. It is you and your story that I think is beautiful and I thank you for sharing it with us. Many blessings and love to you.

I bet you hear this all the time but its true beauty is within not on the outside, i put make up on when i go to work but its not for the benefit of other people but for me. You will find somone who will love and respect you for who you are. You should get on a dating website not a dodgy one because some are but maybe you will find that person you want and that wants you xx

I agree with you and thanks for the challenge! I will and I will start with me. 6 years ago, I'm being afflicted my vitiligo taking away my skin color all over my body and no part has been immune. I don't recognize my body or my face without make-up. I'm afriad to date for what men may see (them being visual and all) instead of embracing my beauty and uniqueness. You helped me with this challenge and I wish you much luck!

Even if the body is wasted the complexity of the mind can also be beautiful. The human mind will respond to this as surely as it will physical beauty.

To a certain degree, what we find attractive is biological, based on the primal drive to recreate. <br />
<br />
But we also possess a higher level of consciousness than the primal. At that level, we can understand that every body and every face is a unique work of art, indeed a masterpiece. <br />
<br />
It usually takes getting to know someone to find what is truly beautiful about them. So, one might say that some souls inhabit bodies or faces that are gatekeepers. Only those who are evolved enough to see past our usually shallow and narrow standards of beauty are able to approach such souls.<br />
<br />
I personally have developed a distaste for the artificial. Today, many people only recognize beauty in that which has been altered or enhanced in some way. I have even stopped wearing makeup. What you see is what you get. If it keeps you from getting to know me, I haven't lost anything. The only thing I have lost is my dependence on the cosmetic industry. Actually, I can't say I lost it. I deliberately let it go.

Well, l find l have to agree with Lewcifer's very first comment about the biological basis of attraction, but that is all l agree on with him and agree with beckyboo that this guy is definitely a pretentious knob-jockey.<br />
Anyway.<br />
Outer beauty is all very well & good for the initial attraction, but then the ball gets handed over to internal beauty and if there is none of that then let me tell you straight out a guy will be gone in a heartbeat.<br />
I've dated 'beautiful' women and 'ugly' ones, but they were all very beautiful inside.<br />
I can't remember the exact wording, but l once heard a comment like "Come for the show, stay for the meal", and it is much the same with most relationships.

THey say Beauty is only skin deep!<br />
<br />
Over the months I have been with E.P., I have come to <br />
admire the person known as The Real Woman!<br />
<br />
..The beauty she exudes is spectacular!<br />
<br />
Yes T.R.W.....You are a beautiful woman!!

When I first read your tittle up there...I thought that you perhaps meant that you were like me...a plus size women living in a skinny world so I read on. <br />
<br />
Because we are human beings we tend to let the world tell us how good we are at something or how pretty we are in our clothes, our skin or just in general. But we keep forgetting that we own the rights to ourselves....and we are the only authors of the only dictionary which defines us...<br />
<br />
And the world is always trying to tell us what beauty is...but beauty is as we define it, sure people respond to visual stimulus of a handsome man or woman from time to time but that doesn't qualify as the only source of beauty in the world.....not even. <br />
<br />
And I don't think its sappy, or sentimental or sugar coated words with no meaning to tell someone like yourself that I too also find you quite beautiful. I like your spirit and energy and how you view things quite a bit. After all true love surpasses old age, wrinkles...plastic surgery...and a nice body.

YOU ROCK SEXY CHICKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
This is why society has gone crazy because even people with the kindest sexiest most beautifull sould go unrecognized.<br />
<br />
I salute you<br />

beckyboo- Pretentious a-holes soon get their come uppence. Thanks for your lovely comment.

Well Lewcifer-arent you the big (intellectual) man-good on you. You are whats known as a dream squasher. Your attitude stinks and just cause you know what you know doesnt mean you couldnt respond nicely. TheRealWoman you are awesome-despite everything you are positive and vibrant-dont take any notice of pretentious A-holes.

Damn skippy!! We're all beautiful!!

*smiles*<br />
Everyone floors me with their lovely comments.<br />
<br />
Coyotegray, I didn't think I had "groupies" but it seems I might....and hey, I actually wouldn't mind company. Thank you for your support! *kiss*

I don't know that i have a "concept" of beauty. I deem anything that is pleasant to my senses as beautiful.<br />
<br />
You, are probably not what i would consider beautiful in a physical way, the way that society is so fixated on, but its clear to me that you have value as a person that is not as simple as physical beauty. Because thats what physical beauty is, its just the most obvious, most primitive and simplistic form of beauty. Physical beauty fades, it is eroded by time and destroyed by circumstance, but mental, intellectual, and spiritual beauty, can survive a thousand life times, and be cherished and coveted by millions and millions of people, long after our physical bodies have returned to the earth.

you are beautiful within it shines out beauty , and as far as i can see ur pic are gorgeous ,,

i salute you my friend... you're an inspiration. keep it up (-;

Beauty,as with many words is subjective,and it is my considered opinion that it can not be defined in absolute terms.

Inspiring post TRW! Many wonderful replies.

Wow. A lot of great comments here. <br />
<br />
Lewcifer: TheRealWoman wasn't attacking you personally. <br />
<br />
She wanted to generate some discussion and position that within a context of reconsidering what people classically term beautiful.<br />
<br />
I don't recall her saying that she was insisting that she be a massive turn on for you in terms of overall attractiveness, so perhaps you need to clarify that distinction a little.<br />
<br />
We are all *very* clear on the fact that you know what you like. <br />
<br />
But that doesn't mean that you couldn't change your opinion of what might be included in that at some point in the future.<br />
<br />
By the same token, you might be hard-wired to like exactly the same thing, whether you call it beauty, attraction, or any other description from now until death.

Therealwoman,<br />
Here I was feeling sorry for myself today because Mother Nature blessed(?) me with my hormonal weight gain and my week of pure hell.<br />
I have had the task of trying to find my own beauty since I was a little girl and never quite felt like I was attractive enough.<br />
Yet I read your story this sunny morning and the lightbulb seemed to flicker on!<br />
You my dear, are the embodiment of true beauty in every sense of the word. It is through your words that people like me become inspired to challenge perceptions and rethink the concept of beauty.<br />
<br />
Sooo..I guess what I am trying to convey is that I am tired of trying to fit my (very) round peg in the skinny square hole that society pushes as "normal" and I am going to be more kind to myself.<br />
Thank you so much...Perspective is everything. :)

Real beauty is in the heart........ no matter what kind of limitations we may have and believe me, we all have limitations ,if we would only embrace our beauty as you have. Reading your story and these comments are thought provoking isn't that what life is about being able to see (if only for a second) the world beyond our own little reality! You are truly an inspiration

real beauty can be found in our attitude. i must admit that most of us judge according to what we see, but good attitude matters largely also.<br />
<br />
consider this:<br />
<br />
i have this boardmate, a guy, who is very proud and boastful.everytime he talks,the way he act, talk or ask something from any one is irritating because he feels like superior or something we do not seemed that he's very boastful. he's crossed - eyed. we thought his being somewhat boastful,rude or acting bad is his self defense, but mind you, people stay away from him because of his one like him, even our classmates and schoolmates.<br />
<br />
then i also have this workmate before, a girl, crossed-eyed also who is very friendly,speaks humbly, and so she is well-love by our's not that people found her pitiful that they like her.but it's because she has a good attitude.<br />
<br />
see?attitudes matter, not just physical beauty.

Hello TheRealWoman,<br />
<br />
Lewcifer makes a pretty weak philosophical argument about folks offering candy-coated responses. Suggesting that you study the science of human attraction? Is there such a science? He argues that there are clear physical attributes, which make a person attractive. He concludes: “…we are what we are. Believing in fantasy or Pollyanna concepts won't change that.”<br />
<br />
But has he ever seen you? If it is all physical/biological for him how could he draw the conclusion that it’s “fantasy” if he hasn’t seen you? Also, he’s implying that no one else who is commenting has seen you either? How does he know this? I don’t think he does. If someone commenting has seen you, finds you beautiful and states as much how is that candy coating? His premise and his conclusion require visuals (you have provided none) the argument falls apart. Ignore him. <br />
<br />
More importantly science doesn’t always have it right (science will always admit that it can be wrong). I have known many people who at first blush seemed odd (even ugly) and after I get to know them I find them quite attractive. My first love was like this. Very plain, red-hair, totally flat chested, (for me at that time the opposite of beautiful) yet once I got to know her personality I fell completely in love. Getting to know her changed my perception about her looks (there was no one more beautiful physically to me at that time then her) and my perception about what is or is not beautiful in general. I don’t find the GoDaddy girls attractive at all (no offense intended to the model like woman of the world – just my taste). <br />
<br />
I’m very inclined to agree with the majority here who believe that you are beautiful. I know many women who are quite beautiful, (in my opinion) who I have seen, who don’t believe they are. In fact they hate their own looks or certain attributes. Given that you actually believe you are beautiful, that you are willing to state it publicly, how much the more the beautiful you MUST be! I’m just starting a new art project in which I hope to paint 100 portraits of beautiful woman (beauty as I see it). I’d be honored to include you in the group. Message privately if you’d be interested.

Awww, cheers kotukedi... all of you!! x

you are gorgeous :) never forget that & anybody that thinks otherwise is just shallow and doesn't deserve your friendship.

I agree. Lewcifer's talking in over-simplified terms. people are educated to like certain foods (for example, I can't eat food others like because I find salt-content too high. If I was eating processed diet all the time, this would not be a problem as high salt would seem normal and anything without high salt would seem tasteless.) We are 'fed' so much about our bodies and what is beautiful by the media; in reality there are many different types of beautiful. Some people don't look deeper than surface / stereotypical, as if its acurrency. That this rubbish and says a lot a about the type of person they are. To be avoided!

Yes, you are truly beautiful to me. I would like to think that I have flexible and imaginative sense of beauty, not bound by culture or superficial physicality. I really would like to think that, but I have no evidence at all that my perceptions are in any way highly evolved or unusually benign.<br />
<br />
You are truly beautiful to me in part because, since my earliest years, the deepest, most primitive basement of my brain somehow decided that physical difference of almost any sort makes women more beautiful and more paradigmatically female. I do not know how I came to be like this, but it has been true since at least as early as my fourth birthday.<br />
<br />
Nearly all my relationships with the opposite sex have been with women with observable physical differences or disabilities, including some of your own characteristics. You are beautiful to me not chiefly ecause of some broad-minded outlook or a virtuous and complex aesthetic sense, but simply because the attraction is powerful, obvious, and absolute. <br />
<br />
I find your different body and movement intrinsically beautiful.<br />
<br />
The difficulty is that women with physical differences often do not truly believe that I see them that way, or recoil because they think that I must be fundamentally unhinged or perverse for perceiving them as beautiful and unusually sensual. <br />
<br />
One of the saddest ironies of my life is that those who feel rejected often reject the appreciation of those like me who are profoundly attracted to them, simply because we vary from the norm.

J4P, darling...your comment is any rocker men spare to send my way? I. am. serious.

*beams* I feel very loved.

I used to work in a group home with adults who had various forms of cerebral palsy, along with other developmental disabilities. They were the most beautiful people I have ever worked with, and I was my happiest at that job. Beauty is a matter of what is inside. Someone can be good looking outside, but nasty on the inside. You are a beautiful person and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

user22: I made the list, because they are the things that bug me about myself physically. They are just tiny "imperfections" that get in my way with shallow people. I didn't mean to suggest that I saw myself as ugly.<br />
<br />
To all: Everyone can be beautiful, it's all about finding your passion for yourself.

I guess I'm one of those who read your story and initally didn't really know what to say... <br />
I am 61 years old, and In 1999 was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. My fingers are gnarled, my feet & knees are deformed, I have had surgery for one hip and another on the way, my posture is crooked because my spine is failing, I limp because my right leg is longer than my left. The pain in my back. hips, legs, shoulders, hands, feet -- just goes on and on and on. I have constant headaches because my neck is unable to hold my head straight. On a good day, I can get around with a cane. Most days, I need my walker. And then there are others when I cannot get out of bed at all. My hair is falling out, I have canker sores in my mouth, I have no appetite because of medications I'm taking to try and slow down the disease. My eyes are perpetually red & puffy because I cry a lot. I cry because I cannot do the things I love (walk my dogs, dance, shop, and so on) I cry because I feel sorry for myself. And then I cry because I am ashamed that I feel sorry for myself!<br />
I once WAS considered "beautiful". Really. Thick blonde hair, beautiful posture, long. lean, lithe, healthy & fit.. I practiced yoga, ran in marathons, worked and played hard. I would never have called myself "vain"...I actually had a pretty poor self image. Thought I was "fat", hated my nose, etc. I look at pictures now, and have to laugh! I was the physical sense of the word. <br />
I don't know how to conclude this story, except to say that when my right hip is replaced (end of October), and I go thru the therapy and healing process...I plan to take my dogs and climb Seymour Hill again. <br />
I am starting to love myself. Wow. I want to live. I want to ENJOY living. I am working on it.<br />
And, more and more, I am starting to feel beautiful. (all-round) <br />
RealWoman??? You truly are.

You are beautiful, despite what some ******* has to say about pollyanna.<br />
<br />
I, too, am what I should call unconventionally beautiful. I was in a fire when I was a baby, and a large percentage of the publicly visible skin is covered in scars. Hair only grows on part of my head, and I have no fingers on my right hand. <br />
<br />
I can't hide my scars, but those who know me dont see them. When you look into my eyes, you see me. You see my beauty. My friends forget most of the time, the scars fade into the aura of personality, and I am beautiful.

What is the dictionary definition of "beauty"? <br />
<br />
Is it really so bad to be "ugly"? <br />
<br />
Can't we just be happy with who we are (physically, spiritually, mentally) without having to label ourselves and attach emotions to the labels we give ourselves?<br />
<br />
Once you have bought into the thought that, "Hey, I am beautiful," are you only happy when you feel beautiful?<br />
<br />
I counted a list of 10 things that are considered "undesirable" in the first paragraph (for example: crooked smile, bifocals, flat chested). WHY LIST THEM??? <br />
<br />
Some crooked smiles are actually attractive, and some guys think glasses are "hot." Why buy-in to the media brain washing that big boobs=sexy body?<br />
<br />
Can we try to love ourself... without labels? Who really cares who is "pretty" and who is "ugly"... just be.

A few years back I was idly looking around and found myself asking the question, Can I see every woman here through the eyes of her lover?<br />
<br />
At the time, my concept of beauty was very limited. I preferred straight hair to curly - that was the extend of said limitation. I started looking at a woman and saw that she had the most beautiful smile. I looked at another woman and saw that she was very graceful when she moved. Another woman was beautiful for her vitality, everything seemed to go brighter in her presence.<br />
<br />
I was experiencing a lot of crushes at the time, with different types of guys and I guess, that was why I was wondering if a guy would look at different types of women and have a multiple crushes, so to speak.<br />
<br />
Throughout the years, I have found that, personally, I find a woman beautiful when she is strong. She has her difficulties but she finds it in herself the ability to face it and still enjoy her life.<br />
<br />
And Real Woman, that is what I see in you.

this story stands as another wonderful representation of your amazing beauty.

Beauty is not in the body that your spirit is housed in. Beauty comes from the inside of you. If you are a "modle type beauty" and rude as hell then u r ugly. if u are "ugly" to the eye, but have a sweet spirit then that beauty outshine the outer body. So you my dear are a beautiful person for having the courage to share ur story.<br />

Thank you JJ!!!<br />
<br />
I KID! <br />
I KID!<br />
<br />
TRW... My sentiments exactly... Thank you for being you...<br />

*smiles* He's trying...very trying... but I dig ya, HS...<br />
EBun, I only listen to the science of my soul, surveys be damned. :)<br />
HWP, there should be more real men like you on the planet.

Um... excuse me... TRW. Can you please tell me about peanut butter, mini marshmallows and wheelchair sex?<br />
<br />
Thanks,<br />

HWP...<br />
<br />
Ask TRW about peanut butter, mini marshmallows and wheelchair sex....<br />
<br />
You're missing out my friend!<br />

Lewcifer is right, that there is indeed a genetically hardwired sense of what constitutes physical attractiveness. Many studies have shown this, and there have been some recent popular articles on this in magazines like Discover and Scientific American.<br />
<br />
But Lewcifer is dead wrong if he things that the biological attraction to a genetic standard of beauty is what is most important. That's may be what catches my eye across a room, and draws me into an initial conversation, but as a human, lasting attraction is to the mind, and the spirit.<br />
<br />
TRW, you rock!

I guess I'm weird. I have always seen the beauty in (almost) everyone. I remember even in elementary school there was a class of "slow" children. I think they had Down Syndrome or something. Even though they looked different than "normal" people, I was still attracted to some of them. It might have been the smile, or the way they carried themselves, or whatever.<br />
<br />
I've seen plenty of women with "deformities" and confined to wheelchairs that I have found attractive.<br />
<br />
I'll admit that part of it - sometimes - is something of morbid curiosity, but most of the time it was just, Hey, she's kinda cute. We can work around that stupid wheel chair and have a good time.<br />
<br />
Although, since I'm being so honest, I have to admit never taking action about it. But then again, I've never taken action when I've seen some hot drunk babe in a bar who I wanted to screw either. I guess I just haven't been an action-oriented kinda guy. Until now..... :-)

OOOOOOOooooohhh!<br />
<br />
You make me so mad some times WOMAN!<br />

You just did... x

As your professional stalker, I refuse to even comment on this story......<br />
<br />

God, so many trolls in my threads, I am blessed to generate such debate...and Lewcifer, have you even seen any of my other stories? My beauty is palpable and real, so real that "rational thinkers" never have the privilege of tasting it.

As a classically beautiful woman, I want you to know, having beauty that turns heads means nothing. Men would line up to have sex with me when I was young, but I have never been loved by a good man. What is important, the heart you have, the courage you face life with, the strength of your character is not seen. My looks are as much of a mask of my true self as your disabilities are of your true self. I can say this with a lot of confidence because I now have a progressive degenerative neurological condition, that is taking my vision, my bladder control, my ability to move, and leaving me overweight because I can't exercise. I wear thick glasses, and loose clothes and men no longer look at my appearance, and I will probably never know what it is to be loved. <br />
<br />
You keep saying what you are saying here, it is true, and needs to be repeated again and again.

jolevitch - Which God, in particular? Zeus, Atlas, or any one of the ancient Greek Gods? Some of those gods do not know man's heart, as shown in their respective scriptures. Or do you mean the Mormon God, which is different from the Catholic God, which is different from the Christian God, etc.<br />
<br />
Which imaginary character, based on superstition and/or folklore, do you consider God? Are there rational thinkers on here, and if so, what sections of the site can they be found in? You know... someone I can have a discourse with who won't throw in superstition or imaginary things as part of their reasoning process.

gogobear - I do realize our taste buds change, and that some tastes are acquired. Are you aware the some are not, and are a built-in survival mechanism from the ancient days, to protect us from toxic plants? What would happen, if, per your "try something new" rebuttal, you were to eat a toxic plant that did not agree with you? Do you think that could somehow become an acquired taste?<br />
<br />
Likewise, what is engrained in our genes cannot be changed in the manner that you espouse. There are certain traits and characteristics that we are programmed to accept as desirable. Learn to deal with that fact, rather than throwing out hyperbole and non-sequiturs as your rebuttal.

"Challenging my perception of beauty is pointless... just as challenging my distaste for certain food would be. It is what it is, and we are what we are. Believing in fantasy or pollyanna concepts won't change that."<BR><BR>Hey Lewcifer- I bet you didn't realize that our taste buds change every 7 years. So, in fact we can change our taste in foods. That is precisely why it is called an "acquired taste". So, stop being so stubborn and try something new.

God bless you for your story... People often sit in judgment of others because of their own insecurities... You are more together than many, especially because you had the courage to tell your story. Your beauty shines through your story... Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and doesn't always show on the outside. It is after all our spirit that makes us beautiful. I wish you every happiness life has to offer... And I wish you much laughter as I truly believe laughter is such good medicine. I hope that you have a good support system and good friends to share with. <br />
I am a better person for reading your story and thinking about you. God Bless You and I wish you Peace & Love... <br />

This is the problem with soceity today. here is a beautiful human being who is not considered beautiful within the "social norm" I think people are beautiful for who they are and how they believe in themselves.

CupidsPet - Childish ad-hominem attacks on my person or character are not a substitute for reasoned discourse.<br />
<br />
For example, "...lewcifer, who wouldn't know beauty unless it was dipped in sarcasum and held by a rope just out of his reach. But then to him... that is probably the beauty of it. He wants it, and can't have it. (shrugs my shoulders). As I said beauty is different to us all. To each his own."<br />
<br />
Other than showing that you're intellectually bankrupt and incapable of reasoned discourse, what factual point does your statement make? None... you presume to know me, and to attack my character rather than providing rebuttal.<br />
<br />
Beauty is not some "magical process" from a place deep inside us. It's generated in the cerebral cortex. Do you have any doubt that all our existential experiences are the result of neurological processes in the brain? Do you believe that a brain-dead person can still experience beauty? Of course not - and as such, beauty is simply a neurological process. We are programmed to desire certain characteristics in a mate.<br />
<br />
Physical beauty is a sexually selected trait mediated, in part, by pubertal facial hormone markers that signal important biological information about the displa<x>yer. Such signals would be ineffective if they did not elicit appropriate cognitive and/or emotional responses in members of the opposite sex. The effectiveness of these hormonal displays varies with perceivers' brains, which have been organized by the degree of steroid hormone exposure in the uterus, and activated by varying levels of circulating steroids following puberty. The methodology used for examining mate choice decisions has general applicability for determining how cognitive and emotional evaluations enter into decision processes.<br />
<br />
But then again, you would rather attack someone who poses a challenge to your belief system, especially if the process is not understood by you.

Your leaving out the interplay of cheministry. And its physical attractiveness not physical beauty. Beauty is subjective.

You are strong, and you know yourself. And that is more beautiful than anything physical could be.

Beauty? beauty is different to everyone. We are all "beauty" to someone in many different ways, and for as many different reasons. Beauty is within. It's what we find inside that special place deep inside of ourselves. Once we find it, it emits it's own light for others to see. The trick is in finding it for ourselves first. Once found - we then need to play in that light and become comfortable in that light. Once we are, others around us see us in a very different way. <br />
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Your entry has touched many people. For everyone that wrote several others thought about it and didn't know what to say. Then of course you have your "beware of friend" lewcifer. Who wouldn't know beauty unless it was dipped in sarcasum and held by a rope just out of his reach. But then to him... that is probably the beauty of it. He wants it, and can't have it. (shrugs my shoulders). As I said beauty is different to us all. To each his own. <br />
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I just looked up beauty and this is what it says: the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).<br />
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Now that is beautifully said isn't it? <br />
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Anyway I wish for you light... I wish for you to see your blinding light from within that we out here can see. And trust me I do know of what I am talking about....

Simply expressing an old pollyanna bromide and challenging my concept of beauty does not prove nor change anything. I invite you to study and learn about the science of human attraction. There are clear physical attributes which make a person attractive and send a biological message to someone of the opposite sex.<br />
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The candy-coated responses you're getting on here are just meant to appease. Nothing more than conjecture from folks who would like to believe they're not subject to biological and psychological processes, but without a doubt they still are.<br />
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Challenging my perception of beauty is pointless... just as challenging my distaste for certain food would be. It is what it is, and we are what we are. Believing in fantasy or pollyanna concepts won't change that.

However beauty and physical attractiveness in the terms your using aren't exactly one and the same.

what makes someone attractive sexually (at least for most people) comes down to more than just what they look like physically.

but i'm sure you already know that....right?

I admit beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My girlfriend is a beautiful 46 year young woman who any man would love to take from me. The thing is she came after me and of course I did not refuse her. If I had found love with someone who was not as beautiful as her I would still be happy. I feel beauty is what makes you feel happy no matter what. You are a beautiful woman and I know you will find love one day.

You are beautiful and don't you ever forget that! :o)

you are beautiful no matter what.

You are a rock star, my friend!!