Its ****** Up, I Know..

Its even more ****** up that I felt so much passion. I almost wish I could be trapped in that moment for the rest of my life..

What is wrong with me?!

My boyfirned forgave me. Loves me. Acts like this never happened.

....and I still want my bestfriend. I can't even call him that anymore.. we ruined everything we had.

I have an amazing guy that loves me, "mistakes" and all but for some reason I hurt him. Bad. I know I don't deserve him but he doesn't want to see that.
Can I ever change. Can I learn to change?.. learn to love like he does?

In all of this, I've really hurt myself too. My self-will, power & control might as well be gone & if he knew every little detail, he would be to.

And then what would I have left?..
brainwashedlove brainwashedlove
18-21, F
May 17, 2012