I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years now, and living together for the last two.

A couple weeks ago I went on a pub crawl, where obviously the theme was everyone getting ridiculously hammered. At some point in the night I ended up making out with a friend I'd known for a couple months, although I don't remember how that started. After we parted I remember freaking out for a while, but by the end of the night i decided I'd rather go through with it and ended up hooking up with her. The best explanation I can come up with why I did it was that I knew it would end my current relationship.

The next day I went home and confessed, and ended the relationship. It took her completely by surprise and completely destroyed her. We spent the next week apart, and talked a little. I tried to be honest about what happened and why, to at least give some closure to the relationship, but its hard when I don't have any clear reason for what I did. I never wanted to hurt her, as hypocritical as it sounds.

Since then we've had some really open talks and have decided to take a break as opposed to just being over. We're living on our own and leaving each other alone over the summer to figure out how we feel about things. She really wants to work it out and get back together. I don't know what I want. We're generally happy together, even after what happened, but it just seems like a mistake. I feel bad about what happened, but I wish that I felt worse. Part of my feels like talking this break is just prolonging the breakup and making things worse, while part of me legitimately wants to try and work through it and make things better.

I'd appreciate any advice, I'm very confused about it all right now.
a1b23c4d a1b23c4d
22-25, M
Apr 13, 2011