Caused An Ugly Ending

We had been dating for about 3.5 years. We stopped dating around the middle of November because I had hurt her again (completely unrelated to cheating), but we were working on us. There was a point where she was completely done with us, she blamed herself and whatnot, but for some reason I didn't accept that goodbye and convinced her we can keep working on our relationship.Then a week later about, New years eve, I made out with a friend of mine. The next day I told my "girlfriend" that I was giving up on us completely. A couple more days after that I told her why I was giving up. Because I proved to myself that I didn't even care about our relationship anymore and I did not deserve to ever possibly be with her again. Once I told her, she hated me. She's had a tough life and I was suppose to be the person who she could trust. I don't know how to live with myself anymore, and I want to be in her life. I know we probably can never be in a relationship but I have always wanted to still be there for her always. Whenever she needed me. I ruined any chance at that. She does not want to talk to me of course. I don't blame her, but I don't want to ruin her life. I want to be a positive character in her life for her...So I didn't necessarily "cheat" on her since we weren't "dating", but that's all labels and bullshit. I caused a horrible ending to our relationship and ruined any chance of being in her life. How do I live with myself? How do I work towards being in her life again? How do I fight for her?
Nustnias Nustnias
1 Response Jan 5, 2012

you cant......its better you move on.............<br />
may be you can try to be together with her 5 years later but not now

5 years? I was thinking like 5 weeks...I mean I'm not going to try to talk to her, I'll let her talk to me when she wants to. And I do not want to try to be together with her. Just talk to her.

she went through tough times.....
she is confused......
such things only time could do anything and nothing else...........
talking to her? i am sure if she looks at you she gets hurt......i honestly dint know how to deal with it but people eho get cheated usually keep distance from the cheater(sorry to give that tag but thats how she sees you)



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