Cheater Ruins His Own Senior Year..should He Get A Second Chance?? (its Long, But Interesting!!)

Well, I was only dating this girl for 5 months, but everything was going great. We are both high schoolers, I'm a senior, she's a junior. And i know what ya'll "grown-ups" say about the 'first love' or high school sweethearts and what not, but i was in love, and i would have spent my entire life, happily, with this girl. We connected on every level, she wants to go into business law, ironically im going in to business next year. It was as if we were meant to be. I am 6'5'' and i have played basketball since i can remember. I met her at a basketball tournament. The first time we hung out was at her house, since we were both broke and couldnt do much anything else. we kissed that first day, like a lot. We started dating pretty soon after that. Unfortunately, whats the right girl when its at the wrong time right?

When i met her, everything was going downhill in my life. I was in a college-in-high school program called Running Start, where high school students would actually go to the college campus and take college classes, and earn college credits. I started hanging out with an old friend that graduated from my school the previous year and was now attending the same college as me. We started skipping class to go smoke weed, or just to no be in school. He introduced me to some friends and we started hanging out as a group, a lot, just to party and smoke.  I got behind on my work until I failed a class and was kicked out of this program, fall semester of my senior year, right before basketball season. This caused me to be academically ineligble and i couldnt play baskeball my senior year, when we were being prospected as bringing my school's program back to greatness, from the recent years of struggling. I had to sit in the stands, with my girl, and watch my team go 2-18 durning the season, beating myself up for not working harder and playing with the guys i had played with since i could walk. Things were going okay in school, i was getting caught back up on my work and finishing my graduation requirements my school requires to graduate. I started having problems with my grandma, however, (my grandparents raised me since my parents died when i was 4) and she kicked me out, a couple times actually, for about 3 weeks each time. I stayed at a friends and managed not to mess up school too bad. During this time, my basketball friends were obviously upset with me for ruining their season (still are, actually), so thats why i was hanging out more with the other group of friends.
Well, with that group of friends that i was hanging out with, i got my girl to come hang out with all of us too, although she dosent party, drink, or smoke. From the start she was telling me that they were a bunch of losers and that i need different friends. But these friends were some of the only people that were there for me through all of the fall and winter, when my grandparents were kicking me out and my community was shaming me for not playing ball. So i ignored her warnings. I introduced that group of stoners to these other 2 stoners, girls, that i had smoked with and used to hang out with a lot. One of these girls i had a one night stand with earlier with that year. We started hanging out with these girls a lot, since they would buy a lot of weed, and one of my friends was trying to get with one of the girls, they actually are still dating now.

One night, during about a month where we didnt give a **** about anything really exept getting high and/or drunk, a few of us were hanging out and getting super faded. The girl who i had had a one night stand with previously, began being very flirtatious and we were all telling sex jokes and what not. Well, its all bits and pieces in my memory, but apparently me, and my friend from the college (who had become and still is my best friend) and the girl i had a one night stand with, ended up in my car together, and me and my friend proceeded to tag team, A.K.A eiffle tower the ***** (i only use that term because the circumstances, and how slutty she is). Me and my friend agreed to not tell anyone and forget it ever happened. I was still dating what i now believe to be my soul mate, and conciously knew i was cheating, but my immature mind didnt or could not comprehend the consequeses i guess...

Well, later on down the line, my friend blew up on me because he thought i had told his brother something mean about his mom, or something like that, i still dont even know. Anyways, he proceeded to tell my girlfriend that I cheated on her and what not, and I denied it, saying he was lying because he thinks i made fun of his mom and he wants to get back at me. She believed me. Well the girl I got with, apparently told her friend (the one that would hang out with us and who was dating my other friend) who told her other friend, who happened to be friends with my girlfriend and she told my girlfriend.

My girl confronted me about it that night, at her house. We were chillin on her bed, and I finally fessed up to it and apologized. I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt flood my chest as she began to cry in my arms. I held her in my arms, and apologized over and over again. I proceeded to get off the bed and head towards the door, as i was sure it was over right then and there and i would have to live with my mistakes..but she stopped me. We talked and i promised i would do everything in my power to change myself, what i was doing, and to fix my mistakes.

Well about a week or so later, i spent a night in jail after getting caught car prowling. My grandma told my girl about it over facebook, my girls parents read it, and they forbid my girl from talking to me. The day i came back to school from jail, i will never forget the look on my girls face, you could just see that her heart had been broken. Her parents had told teachers at the school to make sure she dosent talk to me, but i went up to her and we hugged. That would be our last hug.. We were still talking, waiting these hard times out. Then all of a sudden she stopped talking to me, no matter what i did, she would tell me to go away if i approached her, tell me to stop texting her. Even though i promised her i wouldnt give up and i would fix things. well about a week or two later I had court for my car prowling charges, and on the way home after court i got in a huge fight with my grandma, and it lasted till we got home, where it escalated into a yelling match. I got too heated and began breaking things around the house, and she called the police. Two sherriffs came and i had to spend another week in jail.

That was the worst week of my life, the only time ive ever been truly suicidal. I was hopeless, i thought i had lost everything because of my own actions. I thought i was done, that i had lost the game of life. I attempted suicide with a broken shaving razor, and the guards had me fixed up and i spent the rest of my week in a cell, on 22 hour lockdown, 2 hours out, until my aunt bailed me out. I spent that entire week planning how i was going to spend the rest of my high school career, exactly what i was gonna do when i got out, how i was going to get my girl back. I wrote pages upon pages of letters, apologizing to people for my actions, explaining what in my life i believed to be what led up to me doing the things i did. All of those attempts were in vain, however, and the letters have since been disposed of. Because when i got out of jail, she wouldnt have anything to do with me. I tried, too hard apparently, to get her to talk to me and at least be friends, which we were the best of before this all went down. But apparently i got chalmydia when i cheated and gave it to her. I am pretty sure that was the last straw.. She ended up taking me to court and getting a year long restraining order against my ***, getting me kicked out of school 35 days before graduating, and now i am currently working online to get my diploma and sneak my way into college. I have changed my ways, and i have realized its time to grow up. I plan on going to Spokane falls next year for Audio Production, attempting to be a famous DJ and rapper, then transfer to Central Washington University for Business Administration, specializing in business accounting. So if all my huge goals and dreams fail, at least i can get a decent job making 6 figures more than likely.

I guess what i want to know is do i deserve a second chance with this girl?? or do i deserve to die like she says?? Either way, Im chasin the paper, i wanna be rich and i know that will be fun, but it would definately be a better life with her in it. She already found a new guy, i live all the way across town, and i have no idea what will happen a year from now, when this restraining order is over. i am still hopefull that the anger will die and she'll finally forgive me, so we can at least be friends. i am not a terrible person, i was just immature and made a handful of stupid mistakes, and now im paying for it. but ive learned my lesson and im done being that way, i just wish she would let me prove that to her...
1 Response May 10, 2012

it's really hard to give you an advice. i really feel sorry for you