Regret.

I'm probably not the best story teller, but I need somewhere to put this out there. I've been in a long distance relationship (Mid Canada-Northern US) with an amazing girl for the past 2 years, and we're about to be living close together. We're both eighteen. I honestly care about this girl with my whole heart, and I hate myself for what I did.

Last night I was hanging out with a couple friends. Two of my guy friends, a girlfriend of my friend, and her friend. I had the house to myself, so we had all been smoking weed and drinking a little bit. My friend with the girlfriend went to sleep with his girlfriend, and my other friend passed out in my bed and got sick on the floor. The only other beds left were a set of bunk beds. The friend of the girlfriend and I had been talking in our beds before we were going to fall asleep. It started out friendly, but then she started talking about sex, and we mutually agreed that we hadn't had much sex. I was talking about how I cared about my girlfriend, and how I missed not having her around. Hormones took over, I got horny and started to fantasize. I tried to convince myself that sex wasn't emotional, and being under the influence I believed myself. I went down on the bottom bunk and started fooling around with the girl. I couldn't get it up, I felt like the biggest piece of **** alive. I realized my mistake and felt overwhelmed with guilt. I said sorry, I feel too bad for this. She said it was okay and that she had been in my position before. I left the room and slept on the couch.

I don't know what to do, because I've never even been close to being in a situation like that. I never let that happen to me. I feel like a horrible, horrible person, and I know I'll never do it again. I feel the worst person alive. I know the right thing to do is tell my girlfriend, but I honestly can't picture myself without her. I did two years of basically phone conversations and occasional visits to be with her, and were going to be done distance in a week.
SlippinLizards SlippinLizards
18-21
4 Responses Jul 28, 2012

Let me tell you from a girls point of view, the worst thing you could do is not tell her. Nothing happened so you have that on your side. You were under the influence, so you also have that. You weren't even turned on... Trust me, your girl will understand. Tell her how sorry you are and how much you regret it. If you don't tell her she will have no reason to trust you in the future.

Just a followup to my story, we've finally finished long distance. We're here together, and it's been the biggest mistake of my life. I think there was a deeper rational behind my decision to cheat. Since we've attended University, my girlfriend has done nothing but make me out to be some jerk. Please note, she doesn't know about how I cheated on her, which may be karma in return, but I have done NOTHING since then to her. She barely makes time for me, I see her maybe 30mins to an hour a day, she criticizes all my little actions, I.E. she gets 'offended' when I call her 'my dear', I think what I've learned from this is that maybe my horrid action was my brain trying to tell me something. I've done nothing but treat her good since we've been here. I'm lonely (I know nobody around here besides her), I'm depressed, and I'm considering going back home and joining the military next semester.

she may be able to sense your guilt and know something is wrong. most girls are pretty good at picking up on that. my husband is military and his advice would be not to join. he hates it, you have no freedom.

it depends on what type of person you are. if you could bury that guilt down and maintain a solid relationship with the girl...then don't tell her. if you are like me, and the guilt is crushing you...my advice is to man up and admit it. she would appreciate the honesty...maybe not right away, but over time. and i agree...i dont know what it is with single girls and guys who are in a relationship, but its almost too easy to stray when your s/o is not around.

From someone who did almost the same thing, in the same situation, don't tell her. Just know what situations to stay away from. Don't get drunk around single girls. That's a MUST when you're in a relationship. They do get horny and will probably try to bang you, and you'll be drunk and probably be down. Gotta learn your limits man.