Broke My Best Friends HeartOk here's the story. I have been seeing a woman that I love dearly and has been my best friend for the past 5yrs and we have been living together for the past year.
We also just relocated to California, from MA. Where I left a good job, friends and family to be with her, because she got a job offer out here and Cali is where she's from.
Well, I have been depressed since we have been here for various reasons, I found myself looking through on line ads for call girls, yes, I did contact some via email and sent my phone # but I never met up with any one, because I couldn't bring myself to do it.
She found the emails on my laptop one day and confronted me on it, being scared that I had been caught I of course denied it at 1st (like a dumb-***).
I can't fully explain or understand my own self, why I did it. How can I began to even explain it to her and help her understand?
All I know is that I am greatly sorry , it feels like I have killed my best friend and I don't want to loose her/us. She is the only woman that I have found that I want to settle down and spend the rest of my life with.