Waiting To Wake Up From This Nightmare
i went to a party with my girlfriend who ive been with for over 2 years now, im 19 and she is 18, we started off as puppy love, but since have been through a whole lot together and want to spend the rest of our lifes together, have a fun time being a young couple, but then have a family someday, all these plans came into doubt on this night.......i dont drink too often and the alcohol was free al night, and my glass kept getting topped up, my girlfriend and i both got way too drunk and woke up the next morning not remembering a thing about the last half of the night, i remember falling down alot and not being able to stand, but i had a couple of blury images in my head..of a girl in the bed, i put it down to being a dream, but my worst fears were confirmed when this girl, who matched the pictures in my head called me, a girl i dont even know, but have started to slightly remember has told me we had sex, and that she is pregnant. my heart stopped, i was overcpme with chills, my appetite went away, and i wanted to kill myself. the only rerason i wouldnt kill myself is out of fear of it hurting my girlfirned, i love her so much and want to be with her forever, and the worst thing about this is that she could get so hurt. i want nothing to do with this girlor the baby, what if she keeps it? i can barely remember, and if she can she must have taken advantage of me? i am so sad and want to cry all day but eel selfish because its my mistake and i just dont want my girlfriend to be sad, the thought of seeing her face sad and tears running down her beautiful face makes me want to die. i would never cheat on my lady, i love her and want a family with her on day, and i am praying al day to keep her from ever finding out. i can take any pain thrown my way, if it means protecting the girl i love. the thing is if my girlfirned found out i still would never see this girl again and have nothing to do with it (i know that sounds bad but how can i) it wont make me go to this stranger and some kid and be a family, never! im sure that the girl can find a man to love her and the child while i carry on the path of life with my girlfireend and give her the life she deserves, that we deserve, i always hear stories where a boyfriend cheats, or a girlfriend even husbant or wife cheat, and get away with it! and they even know what they are doing. i am 19 and i made a mistake, if i cant learn from this and better myself as a sensible drinker for my girlfriend and make her happy, whats the point in the learning part? i feel my girfriends life would be torn apart for no reason if she found out. i love her so much and just need advice.