What Am I Doing?

I have been dating my husband for 8 years, and we finally got married March this year, which means I have been married to him for 5 months. I feel as if I am going crazy, like a caged animal. I met a guy a couple of weeks back and started secretly seeing him, I havent slept with him, not sure If I can! but what a great kisser!!! My husband and I are both 33, he has been sleeping in another room for almost 2 years (says its more convenient for him!) he doesnt touch me, kiss me, or have much sex with me for that matter, and when he does...it s reall wham bang thank you mam type thing. I know he loves me a lot, but I am starting to hate him. I am meeting the other guy tonight...not sure how it will turn out! BUT, I really dont want to be a cheater, lie, go behind my husbans's back...not sure if I want to seperate (after 5 months of marriage!!! I am still paying for the wedding!!!)
I really dont know what to do!!??
marlene101marlene marlene101marlene
6 Responses Aug 12, 2010

I'm glad that you decided to go that route instead of caving in and doing something that will cause more damage than good.

coming from experience...don't take the next step with this other guy! TALK to your husband. Your situation is almost identical to mine except I cheated. The last two years since I cheated have been the hardest of my life. My husband took me back but still has reservations on whether he made the right decision. Don't ruin your life.

Good Luck marlene101marlene. There will be a lot to work on for both of you ,which, if you are both committed to a goal will bring you closer together. You have taken a huge first step that I know isn't easy, but you will feel personally better about doing it.

Thank you for the advice. I met with the other guy last night, nohingt happened, thank heavens. I am breaking it off with him, and going to have a long and serious chat to my husband tonight. there must be a way for us to make BOTH of us happy, as he seems to think we are perfectly fine! and I am as unhappy as hell! will keep you posted

I agree with doomedtoremember, and include marriage counseling. It is said that the toughest time of marriage is within the first two years. Hell, you have not given marriage six months and already looking around. No, you cannot bed with your secret friend, it is called adultery. Once you do marriage separation for a few months, than you can check out your friend, but you cannot live together, its against the law.

Have you talked to your husband about your feelings as to your marriage? I would keep it platonic with your " friend" until you can figure out what you really want. Also try to look past what happens after you have sex with this other Guy. You'll have to live with the guilt not to mention all the lies you will have to invent if it keeps going.