My 7 Years Of Cheating

I have been married for 11yrs, and i have cheated with the same man for 7 of those years.
I used to be one of those people who viewed cheaters as evil and deserving to burn in hell. Boy did the tables turn. I met my cheating partner at a best friend's wedding. I got to chat to him about the beauty of marriage and how being faithful was a glorious thing which kept marriages intact. I must have bored him stiff with my holier than thou attitude as i went on and on about it. He asked if i wanted to go for a drink later as a follow up on the lecturer, i agreed. In less than 3 hours later we were in his car kissing passionately.

How did i get there? i was not drunk and i surely was not forced. The kissing was out of this world and i enjoyed every minute of it. We live in different cities and within 2 days he had arranged an air ticket and booked me into an expensive hotel. I slept with him exactly 2 days after lecturing him on infidelity. It was not a once of experience as we have been together for 7 solid years. I love him, and i love my husband too. Is this possible?

So much has happened in those 7 years, some good some bad. I will be updating you regularly on my 7 YEARS OF CHEATING .
lebelamii lebelamii
29 Responses Nov 21, 2010

That isnt bad at alll if you dont feel guilty

I'm judging. Kinda skanky.


I understand. I have a passion with another man who is not my husband. I wasn't looking for it but it came when I was most vulnerable.

Well you also said you were so against cheating but look were your at now. Tell your husband and see if it's worth seeking counseling to save your marriage. despite how you feel about it now you'll thank me for it later.

another thing you sound like to care more about you lover than you family look at what you put ...

You need to work things out with your husband , you love him but you treat him like trash , you dont want him to leave you but you keep cheating on him why??? if you really did love him you would forget the lover an focus on you an your husband and family smh , I am sorry but he has every right to leave you. To be real i would leave you cuz you have showin me you donot love me..

there is nothing wrong between the two of them, she is just not the person she claim she is. eventually she doesn't know herself so there is nothing to fix

Sounds like your headed for a crash! Unprotected sex with your lover and protected sex with your husband. There is more to a relationship than sex so your in quite the pickle?

Lying to a partner is NOT a"good" thing. And she said NOTHING about the improving of her marriage in her comments: quite the opposite... Read them again. <br />
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Thats not her culture, so cultural relativism is just another mumbo jumbo excuse for selfish behavior.<br />
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Keep hating the word "cheating": i hate the ex<x>pression "only success matters" but its still a truthful ex<x>pression. Personal opinions (and refusal to see reality how it is) dont change facts.

Empty101, thank you for making me feel normal. What i have done is wrong and i am not proud of it. However i am also human and it can happen to anyone. <br />
I will keep you posted.

I came across this as I am in a very similar situation. <br />
I have been with my husband for 10 years - married for almost 4 of those years and I have been cheating on him for over 3 years with the same person. The other person is my best friend - and I mean Ive known him since the 3rd grade and we've been best friends since 7th grade. We have always been physically and sexually attracted to each other. We have lived in different cities over 1200 miles apart for most of our adult lives. Then 4 months after I was married we both ended up in the same city. We met up for diner one night and that was it. <br />
We havent been able to stop since and believe me we have tried. We did manage to stay away from each other for a year - still communicating but not seeing each other but the moment we seen one another all those feelings came back. <br />
There are so many reasons as to why I may have cheated and to why I am still doing it. <br />
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I also love my husband very much - he is an amazing man but I am not sexually attracted to him at all. He is my best friend, but I just cant be intimate with him. <br />
I know everyone would tell me to stop seeing this other person, but he is one of my best friends that I have known for so long. I cant live without him. We share absolutely everything with each other and we know we can without judgment or embarrassment. <br />
Ive contemplated leaving my husband, but I can NEVER tell him about the affair. This is also going to the grave with me. <br />
It would break his heart and I do not want to do that to him. Im actually hoping he would cheat on me or just leave me so Im not the bad person - I know highly hypocritical. <br />
I know EXACTLY how you are feeling LEBELAMLII. You are not alone and I couldnt imagine being in your situation - I have no children, and divorce in my family has happened. But it sounds in the country you are in your options are very limited. I sympathize dearly for you and I hope that things will work out for you - in this lifetime or the next. <br />
Take care and Id love to hear updates from you again.

Hello everyone. Thank you so much for your contributions. Its sad that some of you were stepping on to each other's toes over certain issues. I hope its all sorted out now. I have been quiet for a good reason. I needed to focus on what really matters and that is my family. <br />
Firstly so as to clear the air, i did not fall pregnant and thank God for that.<br />
I have been the perfect wife in the last couple of months. The last i saw of my cheating partner was last year. I have been good, living the kind of life that i am expected by society and most of you to live. <br />
One thing has not been okay though, i am sexually starved!!!!!!!!! Its not that i am not doing it. Oh yes i am but it is not the kind of mind blowing take me to heaven kind of experience. I have tried it all, romantic dinners, new positions getaways name it.......but i am not feeling it. I love my husband and i love my family (i do have kids by the way) but why cant i get the kind of satisfaction i was getting from lover?<br />
As i said earlier i have not seen him in over 5months, i havent been communicating with him until a few days ago when he sent me a birthday message. It was just a simple 'Happy Birthday" but i got all hot just reading it. A day later he sent me a "Hie" text to which in my holier than though attitude polietly asked him to stop communicating with me as my life was on track. He told me all he wanted was to bring some spark back into his sex life and i was the only woman who could do that.<br />
Honestly both of us have been trying to stay faithful and clean but the truth is that we miss each other badly it hurts. I am not a horrible person, i have prayed, fasted, and even received counselling about the way i feel for my lover but nothing has cured me for the way i just want him to embrace me, kiss me and tell me we will be together in another lifetime.<br />
He has asked that we meet, but i turned him down. How long will i be able to say no when i am not getting the satisfaction at home?<br />
Someone suggested that i tell my husband about my lover. Not a good idea i am afraid. He would probably divorce me and take the kids away from me. I would also be an outcast im my family as such behaviour is not expected. So once again confessing is a No No! Divorce is also a big No. if you were me what would you do????

Me too. Please update your story, Thanks

You didnt updated your story. So how are things with your husband (you told how you dont get along). And were/are you pregnant, after all? We are curious about it (at least I am).

if your hubby thinks the way i think, he never will get angry to both of you' you and your paramour but on the contrary will even support you. My wife has her fuckbuddy for quite sometime and i love the idea of her having satisfying sex with her man; it excites me as it excites her. She even tells me exactly how they **** . Lesson? go tell your husband about it and discover he won't be bothered by it. We guys have that ability of sort to recognize some other dicks enter that glory holes we own. Just continue enjoying what you have. you are the envy of many wives for sure. Yeah, husband of yours know that too so why worry?

skepticaldemocrat<br />
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I am a type of a person you can run over and over, until one day, I will come back full force. I do not care whose feelings I hurt. I will come back double strength and run over others without thinking about it. thanks for your words, I will get tough, let him come back insulting me.

Stone, Ivo13 insulted you and cursed a lot AND YOU PLEASED HIM by deleting your comment???? <br />
I approve your comments about infidelity but do you really believed he would stop? Being soft with people who is rude with you is considered weakness and you wont get any respect... Only being tough you will get results with people who mistreats you, not yielding to them.

In response to Ivo13, Okay, I removed the posts that I put here, I did it to shut you up, thus, you insisted to keep on egging it on, Okay, One thing You have done, is called me stoner, I do not do illegal drugs, I am taking it as if you insist I do that. Oh one more thing, My point about infidelity is straight one way. I do not give a rats butt if you do not like my comments. I am posting one last time, Please keep my name out of your posts. I am letting you know in a humble kind way. I hate vulgarity as well. If you can't take what I say as a grain of salt. Then Its your deal to work with. One more thing, I do study the effects of cheating. Just to let you know, I will not vote obama, I love my country, I hate cheating. I hope you read this clearly. I hope the poster named lebelamii understands the risk of running into a married lover. You and the married lover WILL break two families. Its a matter of time. Your choice, Its totally up to you. In regards to IVO13, I think his opinion is like rain drops. It doesn't matter anways. I am done here.

perhaps the marriage is over but .. her H is a great man and she is a cursed .. maybe her mother is a ***** or ***** and she is the descendant ... go to hell cheaters.

wow this holier then thou hoe just got knocked up with some other dudes child. If I were her abortion would be a strong consideration, because If I was the husband I would ***** kill you.

Okay, I deleted my comments to please ivo13. thank you all for allowing me to post in here.

Me vote for Obama? Hell no, I love my country!

If you have no kids why the hell are still with your husband?

You have no idea of the hell on earth that you and your husband will be in when the **** hits the fan. If your fuckbuddy has knocked you up you had better just divorce and spare your husband the humiliation. Holy **** woman, have you no shame?

Wow, I love the words that the sex was intense and so new, so tastee. But it is interesting to see how something we want to hide is going to come out in the end one way or another. so if you had told you husband, maybe things could of been cool and you guys could of moved on with some type of open relationship. Maybe you feeling bad, you could of given him a present of bring home some lady for him to **** and enjoy. But it seems your cheating on him is kicking you in the butt by some of the bad feeling you have and hat the fact that you can't even kiss your hubby anymore. Do you think he is not aware that something is wrong or up with you if you act like you do without kissing him. You as a women know that you can tell someone feelings by the nature of their kiss and now you take that a forward, wow, I wonder why you feel down around him. Can it be that you are cheating on him, haven't told him, remove him feeling your kisses, acting in a way that you have changed what you two have or should of had but all this time, you made it different all these yaers and I wonder if you can see why you feel down or why he is hurt and may even know inside that you haven't been honest with him or the relationship. So I would say, yes, you have it good and have enjoyed this time with your lover, but can you really tell us that you would treat someone you love like you have by not sharing your secret with your hubby. Maybe you want your cake and eat it to, wait, you and the lover didn't want to destroy two families, but maybe you did that already by the seven years of not telling your hubby. Yes, I too can't understand why you didn't tell your hubby and as your comment tells us that you will take it to the grave and if you think about it, inside you, you feel it is wrong and inside you is the knowledge of you destroying your marriage and two families and hurting the man you tell us you love. Remember how it started, talk about cheating being bad and evil and you jumping into bed with this guy, I wonder if you had told your hubby so long ago, maybe the down feeling you feel around him could of be exciting feeling to watch him ******* your lovers wife while you are being pounded by your lover.

Thank you all for the comments.<br />
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ZSU234, i would never ever confess to my husband that i have been cheating. That is the one secret i am taking to the grave with. Even if he had to catch me red handed i would still tell him that the vagina in action belongs to a friend and i was just doing a friend a favor by doing it on her behalf!!!!!!<br />
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Rockystone my husband does not know about the other guy. Three years ago the affair got pretty intense, the visits were frequent and the sex insane. My lover and i almost left our spouses. Thank God we came to our senses before 2 homes were broken. We did at that point take a break from each other and lived our separate lives for over a year. The time apart did more harm than good because when we met again all the suppressed feelings flowed right back.<br />
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Sex with him always feels like a new experience. I totally surrender myself to him. On the home front its a different story. I can not even kiss my husband anymore. I love him but he has away of always bringing me down. <br />
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I am currently stressed, i hooked up with my lover recently. We both had blood tests done and as a result of the excitement of both being clean we had unprotected sex. I am off the pill on medical grounds. I have also been using protection at home. I could be pregnant. This is totally freaking me out. If i am, abortion is totally out as it goes against everything i believe in and is illegal in the part of the world i live in. Could this be a way of finally getting caught? I pray not.

Wrong ZSU234, you neve tell secret like this, just let it go as an adventure, no more no less. If it get to the husband that can be downplayed.

Go to your husband and tell him that you've had an affair for the majority of your marriage and that you think it's only fair that his side of the marriage should be open too. I mean, that is what you have and want, just let him in on the secret. He may surprise you and go for it. It's better than waiting for the axe to fall because an LTA like this will be found out eventually. Better you tell him than he find out on his own. Do you think he already knows?

You will be receiving a lot of messages from people that belive cheating is wrong or evil, so I suggest you write your adventures in the sex confession of EP. There are a lot of people that do not admit to having affairs, including me. Baiscally though there are millions of mistress through the ages that do and many are married. So now you are an official mistress.