Will He Ever Forgive Me

My husband and I have together for 6yrs,married for almost 4yrs.Back in May 2008-I joined a website that I should have never went on.I never intended on talking to anyone but,i did.We talked on the phone and via email for a 1 1/2 mths.My husband found out that we were talking,the other guy didnt know that I was married until my husband called him.I felt bad but,I kept talkin to him.I was letting other people influence my thiking.I agreed to meet him,I stayed with him for 2 days b4 goin home.When i went back home,my husband was gone.I was and still am devasted.He says he doesnt know if he'll ever be able to forgive me.The thing is,I know I made a mistake.I want to make right with him.I love him.Well,now he hardly talks to me on the phone,when i call on the weekends he doenst pick up.but yet he says he cares about me and will help me.This is killing me,I feel like i cant go on.He has been my world and if i lose him,I know i will lose myself.I think of hurting myself-because without him,my life has no meaning.I dont want anyone else.I want my husband back.

BrokenHeartedGrl BrokenHeartedGrl 26-30 15 Responses Aug 30, 2008

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I too had a one night affair with an ex boyfriend,when my marriage was on the rocks. Its been two years of hell and. Things are finally starting to look up. Like I said its been reall tuff but tjr hard times will pay off. If u love and believe he loves u, fight for it! Goodluck!

I think you ladies that are cheating(hey, **** happens)need to have a brutally honest conversation with your husbands. There's something that you are not getting at home that drives you into the bed's of others. Maybe, you feel that sex is too infrequent. Tell him. Perhaps, you are just more sexual than he is,and is desiring more(quality and quantity), or maybe, he's just not big enough in the pants to hit your sweet parts. In any(and every)case, tell him what's going on. Remember, we can't read minds, and the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Don't overly worry about hurting his feelings. Worry about saving the marriage, and building trust. If it turns out that you are an incorrigible freak, don't hide it. Tell him. Odds are he will be turned on by it(and your honesty), and will, in most cases, cause him to, at least, try to step up to the plate. Be honest. Be fearless......and if none of that works, invite me over, and we'll show him up close and personal, how you like to be ******. My bill is in the mail. You're welcome.

You'd been married for 4 years to a guy you loved and who was your world but thought it was a good idea to stay with a man you'd never met in person, only talked with on the phone and online for 6 weeks, and now YOU'RE devastated?

What is wrong with people?

Dear BrokenHearted Girl, I feel your pain and can understand. How long have you and your husband been separated? And have you talked of why you were emailing this guy and how or what attracted you to him? Your husband is angry but he has to understand that there was something in your relationship that he either didn't do or say. I am not saying that you have no fault just that maybe there could've been something he could've done to keep you from even wanting to be on that site in the first place. It's going to be hard and if you guys can talk it out.. Go to a counselor .. Let there be a mediator. You both just may find what was missing in the first place.

I'd drop you like a hot potato. There are plenty of good, loyal, attractive women out there, so why should he put up with your nonsense? My recommendation: get divorced and stay single in perpetuity. Cheaters always do what they do: cheat.

i cheated on my husband and i am suffering for it three yrs later like i just cheated yesterday. i really dont have any advice im actually seeking advice. my husband believe since he still in a relationship with me he doesnt have to do anything not even forgive. its all on me because i cheated . i hear comment daily like when u were with the other guy this an that. Im getting out of my marriage because of it i cant take it any longer. So i guess i do have advice if he doesnt forgive u dont hurt yourself like i did for three yrs ask god to forgive you an to help u to forgive yourself .

Sometimes it takes longer than 3 years to recover. This was your decision to step out of the marriage. I agree that both parties need to want to fix the marriage. I don't know what you have done since the your affair but there is a lot of reassurance that needs to be done on your part to make sure he knows daily that you are sorry and regret what you have done. This is what I am missing from my wife she thinks a cheap sorry is all it takes. I'm 8 months out and still question my decision to stay daily. Actions speak loader than words, take a long look at your actions and make sure they line up with what you are saying. If they don't this is probably why he is unable to get passed this. Best of luck.

Hi, my situation is pretty much similar to yours, its been one year and a half since it happened , but it feels to him like it happened yesterday. Made a mistake, I know that now, I've learnt from it , and I would give anything for him to forgive me, but its really hard for him. We still love eachother and im decided to fight for him, but its really hard when, every day your reminded about it... I understand his pain and hurt, I took wrong decisions, been selfish, but im truly repenting and i'd give anything to turn back time, but I can't. I can only pray one day he'll be able to forgive me.

Sometimes when you make the decision to cheat, there is no coming back from it. It's a selfish decision made by one person that usualy affects alot more than just them.

Who cares about did what you wanted when you did so now its your husbands turn..maybe he finally met a woman who appreciates him.

You made your bed now lie in it if my woman left me for 2days i woud go to

So the typical story I see from married women on this site is that the husband at home completely ignores his wife and gives her zero attention and affection. And often the marriage is sexless. After this dull and stagnant marriage continues for a long time, the wife eventually meets another man who is a lot more charming and affectionate than her husband. So the wife eventually has an affair because the other man makes her feel whole and like a woman again because he gives her attention and good sex (which her husband gives her zero of both). Something is always missing in the wife's marriage, and this story (or close variations of it) occur over and over again. I don't blame a woman who married such a lousy man.

But you didn't answer these questions: Why did you go to that website in the first place? Why did you continue to talk to the other man? Why did you actually go to his house FOR TWO DAYS? And most importantly what is missing in your marriage?

have you and your husband tried marriage counseling? it has helped my husband and me through a lot of things...I cheated only last night & with the help of our therapist, we are going to work on this as well. take care of yourself, we all make mistakes.

good comment jh24

Hurting yourself is never the answer. However, your decision is one that you will effect you for a long time. Try to make peace with your husband and yourself.

I agree with June. I too had an emotional one. I can relate to the feelings that lead to wanting to have an affair. Forgive yourself. You are human. You found something outside your marriage. No one is exempt... You will heal.

I'm not exactly someone who can give you the right advice or anything but please, don't hurt yourself.

I can only imagine how painful things have been for you. You thought what you did couldn't have caused something as big as this. I can empathize with the regret you're feeling now. It really hurt to see someone we care about get hurt by us. That is something I learned the hard way.

You need to try and solve this problem with your husband and I can only say, again , please don't hurt yourself. When you're able to solve the problem, who knows how many happy years are ahead of you and your husband? If you harm yourself, you'll never know.